July 22, 2007

My Sunday To-Do's

I couldn’t sleep anymore this morning. I have this evil affliction that I cannot sleep in very late. There have been a few wondrous times in my life where I was able to sleep past 10 A.M., but they usually involved lots of beer and passing out around 6 A.M. Can you imagine how lovely I would be if I wasn’t able to sleep in those days?

But now, I am officially old. I have said that I was old before, but waking up both weekend days before 9 A.M. without purpose, may actually seal my old-ness.

So, I am up. And wondering what I should do. I need to hem my work pants that I bought at the thrifts in Austin and then throw all my laundry into the washer. I find it odd that 2 of the pairs of pants I bought both have the left leg hem undone. Did these come from the same person whose left leg is 1 ½” longer than their right? These questions wake me early on a Sunday morning… Anyhoo…I have made a deal with my downstairs neighbor that I wouldn’t start laundry until 11 A.M. at the earliest. He is a restaurant manager at one of the three restaurants in town and I don’t wanna piss him off. I am sure to see him on a semi-regular basis and do not want him to drop my portabella on the floor and then spit on it before it arrives at my table.

I need to do some Ebaying, which today will consist of counting sewing pattern pieces and posting the patterns. I have a ton ready to count, but have been putting this off. I did post a boatload of stuff yesterday while my dear was working hard out in the desolate oil fields of far West Texas. And getting sunburned. I think just being in close proximity to me causes a reduction in a person’s melanin. You may want to stay away from this portion of Texas/New Mexico as you will never be able to have a tan again. Something I do aspire to in life. In secret, though. Sun is bad and causes wrinkles and skin cancer. So…I guess I will just deal with being as white as typing paper. That is all right. Life could be worse. They could stop making Gobstoppers. Yep, moved away from sunflower seed obsession, hello Gobstoppers!!

So, today I also need to change out my brake light. My lovely car is missing a brake light. An extremely serious officer of the law who takes his job super serious, pulled me over to inform me in a most serious voice that my brake light was not functioning, seriously. And then he sternly advised in a most serious fashion that he was declining to provide me with a ticket at that time and would instead provide just a very stern and serious verbal warning that I have a burned out brake light. Dude, he is so needing to smoke a joint or something.

He also had a SWAT badge. I wonder how many SWAT situations arise in this small town. However, I am much comforted that in the case of a SWAT-y situation, he is ready and very serious at all times. You never know when a girl in a Corolla with a fresh loaf of bread, a nice smelling candle, brown sugar and cinnamon pop-tarts and other assorted groceries, is gonna take 5 people hostage in the back seat of her car and drive around with a broken tail light refusing to roll down her broken window. Thank goodness SWAT is nearby. I am comforted. But still can’t sleep late.

I must return to Big Lots again this weekend, in search of foil and plastic wrap. I bought a large amount of meat yesterday and need to divide it up and freeze it. I am so dating a meat and potatoes type of guy. I have tried to make meals without meat.

Me: Honey, would you like spaghetti for dinner? Response: With hamburger? Me: No…we don’t have any thawed. Response: No, let’s just go to McDonald’s. …

Ok, whatever, I am estrogen filled and don’t quite understand. I love dead animals just as much as any other self-respecting Southern gal(don’t throw things K, I am pretty damn Southern …. My man wears wife beaters and has a red neck….and I post songs about turnip greens, ya’ll!), …but I don’t require flesh-eating at every meal. But that is just me. And we must respect the desires of each person that resides in our household. So off to freeze some dead chickens and pigs. Cows were properly frozen last night.

I also should probably call my Dad today. He hasn’t called me since we spoke and I told him that I was pregnant and not sure if I was gonna keep it, but truly was just referring to finding a sickly kitten. He may not have recovered from the heart attack I caused. I may wanna wait until tomorrow night….

Hmmm…that may be the end of my Sunday To-Do list. I may read a bit more in Apollyon, the fifth book in the Left Behind series. This job business is getting in the way of my reading about the end of the world. Bad job.

Have a wonderful Sunday, folks. If you want some dead pig, head on over to my place this evening. I am fixing to cook some up and may throw together some collard greens and corn bread, if you ask nicely.


Jagular said...

I think I have met that cop before. He let me know that my license plate lightbulb had too much dirt on it and it was not properly illuminating my license plate.

And you can't call yourself a Southerner until you've had an entire conversation entirely about biscuits.

Sauntering Soul said...

Mmmmmmm, jagular said biscuits. Maybe with some red eye gravy? Y'all, I am a girl born, raised and still living in Georgia and can't make a good biscuit to save my arse. What is wrong with me? However, I can make a casserole out of just about anything.

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