Stolen Lines - Unrequested Advice

Tell me... have you ever thought...of changing your life?

You confide that you are not happy. You don’t like how he treats you, how he talks to you. You don’t like who you are becoming.

You claim to be miserable and want to change. But you continue to drink until you pass out. You continue to never leave your house. You continue to ignore repeated invitations from family.

You say you hate your job. You wish you were doing something more challenging. You are mad about the pay cut.

You are sick of your daughter acting out. You wish she would listen when you tell her to do something. You wish she would quit throwing tantrums.

Tell me... have you ever thought...of changing your life?

I know you are scared. You don’t know how to start. You don’t know how to do it. You are scared you will fail. That things will be worse. That things might actually get better.

But do you really want to stay where you are at. Living like you have been. I know you want more. I know that you wish you could figure out how to change it all.

You don’t see what I see. What so many others see. You have the strength. You have proved that countless times since I met you.

I know that you can do it. I just wish I knew how to make each of you see that.

(The first line was stolen from the play, Betrayal, by Harold Pinter.)

This is another entry in Grace's Stolen Line's project.

My previous entries can be found Here and Here.

After All This, A List? How Pathetic.

1. My job has been making me work very, very hard. It is not very nice of them and really screws up my blog reading and writing time, my Facebook quiz taking time, my Twittering, and my staring out my window time.
2. Dogs are really destructive. I am lucky I guess because my dogs don’t really destroy too many of my personal items, such as shoes, hairclips, purses, underwear, but they destroy my backyard. Dig holes, eat air conditioner lines, chew on hoses, and eat the wooden fence. They also escape into my neighbor’s yard and then escape into the street from there. Bad Puppy. Grow bigger please.
3. It would be much easier to lose weight if beer wasn’t so tasty.
4. I am not looking forward to summer because I have drank too much beer and ate too many chips over the past year. I am really looking forward to summer because I can drink beer and eat chips on my patio.
5. I have spent lots of time out in my yard recently. Scooping poop, fixing air conditioners, refilling holes and planting lots of plants. My hair is getting natural highlights as a result. I like this.
6. I wonder where my blog vibe went. And then I don’t really care because I don’t miss it. And then I think of how I really miss sharing my life here. And then I go check Facebook and forget.
7. I went to a Lasik consultation today. My vision. Ha. I am blind. If there is anyone out there that has worse vision than .525 or -5.25 ... whatever, you win a prize.
8. I am not sure what to do with my flex/cafeteria dollars now. I have lots of money to burn and no medical procedure to burn it on. Invisalign maybe? Boob surgery is not an acceptable expenditure, btw.
9. I don’t watch American Idol, but I heard something really big happened. But it happened to a guy who wears more makeup than I do. So I don’t really care. I stopped caring when Poison stopped playing together.
10. That is pretty pathetic to end my list with American Idol and Poison.

Shhh.... It's A Secret!

Living an online life, whether it be on a blog, Facebook, twitter, Plurk, MySpace, etc, etc and so on and so forth, can be a challenge.

For me, I have separated my blog from my Facebook, my twitter from Myspace, and plurk, yea, whatevs, I failed at that one.

I have 2 different identities – my blog, twitter and plurk life and then my Facebook, Myspace and real life life.

Only 2 people know about all of these. One lives with me and one has known me since I weighed no more than 25 pounds.

But yesterday, my careful separation failed me. I obviously used an email address that I shouldn’t have used.

One of my real life friends found my Twitter. And on my Twitter, until this morning, was my blog address. And in my Twitter comments, I know I have posted links here and there to my blog.

Whoops. I am a dumbass.

I talk candidly here. I say things that I want to keep secret from some folks in my real life. Not because I am dishing dirt or saying things I shouldn’t or sharing life secrets, just that this is where I vent. This is where I say stupid crap without worry that someone is gonna try and commit me. This is where I show what a complete and total fool I can be.

I love this person that found my Twitter. I do. She is an awesome person that I am candid with on most everything. Howevs, I really really don’t want to have to worry about other folks finding me.

I don’t want to think that my mom is reading this page. Or my ex-boyfriend, or the bartender at my local Cheers. I don’t want to censor everything here. And boy howdy, I didn’t censor my archives and I really don’t want words I have laid out in the past with a sense of privacy, misconstrued in the present, under different circumstances.

Therefore, girlie, if you found me, please, please, let’s keep this between you and me. I would really really supercallafragilistically appreciate it.

(And to the peeps that read this and don't know me in real life, Hi! How ya doing? Been awhile, huh? How are the kids? How is your job? Oh this weather, sure is crazy, huh?

We Surround Them

I grew up in a “traditional” home. God-fearing parents who sent us off to church on Sunday. Raised strictly by parents who may have had occasional marital problems, but worked through them out of love for each other, for my sister and I, and because they simply knew no other way than to stay married.

Though they had my sister when they were just out of high school, they strove to raise my sister and I with certain values. Honesty, humility, sincerity, courage.

Hard work and personal responsibility were driven into us. A requirement.

Thrift was a necessity as we did not have much money growing up. Gratitude for what we did have was taught over each meal, each gift we received.

Charity was never discussed. We didn’t volunteer or donate money. Charity was in our hearts. If someone needed a place to stay, they stayed over. If someone needed something, we shared what we had.

Now that I am older, about to marry and am thinking about children, I have come to believe in certain principles.

1. America is good.
2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
6. I have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.

I don’t believe many people can disagree with the values and principles recited above. The government, over the last 50 years has encroached on these values and principles. It has pushed against our freedoms and have sanctioned actions that I simply find deplorable.

This is not a fight against Obama, or the Democrats, or the Republicans. This is a fight against the government as a whole encroaching on our lives.

It is time America started standing up for itself. We have cowered too long in silence as our renegade government has enslaved us more and more each day. We have to take action, and this may very well be the first step.

I encourage you to take action, and go to one of the many meet-ups that are being organized to view this program. Take that first step, and acquaint yourselves with your fellow citizens who still give a damn about this country and what’s right.

There is strength in numbers and in the unification of people with a common cause.




http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/21018/
http://wesurroundthemmap.com

Herein, I Say Minutiae and With Whom

I have been so involved with the minutiae of life that I haven’t had a spare moment to type up anything to bring this sucker up to date.

I know this minutia of life is so tedious, and irritating, and boring, but it is the minutia that makes up life.

The day to day is where we frame our lives. It may just be grocery shopping, dog walking, working out, scrubbing floors, folding laundry, but I spend most of my time in this manner.

The minutia is my life.

Of course, there are big moments, important moments, moments I will remember much longer and larger than scrubbing the kitchen floor, but the day to day shouldn’t be taken for granted. Or hurried. It should be enjoyed just like the huge moments of life.

How I treat the day to day, and those with whom I spend my day to day is what makes up the person I am.

In the end, I may not remember the day to day minutiae, but I will remember if I was happy in my day to day. And others will remember if I was loving in my day to day.

Don’t take it for granted. Even if it is just scooping poop.

Ok, maybe that is ok to take for granted, but not the puppy that pooped it out. (…lol…)

Stolen Lines #2 – Moving Back to a Ghost-Filled Neighborhood

"Ghosts definitely live here," I say.

I remember to the right is where my friend used to live. I would pick her up and we would go to the bar right there. Walking around looking to meet some guys.

That bar. Packed full of ghosts. Overflowing with them. Ghosts of a past where I was much more reckless, barely recognizable to this person I am now. Many, many, many nights spent drinking there, with friends who have since moved far away, and have stayed close, who have gotten married, had kids, stayed single, and those that still go to the bar, like no time has passed at all. Good memories, bad memories. Ghosts I welcome in my thoughts, ghosts I try very hard to forget.

Memories of the neighborhood party house remembered as I drive by, on my way to the grocery store, or Wal-Mart. Memories of a past life, with past friends collide with the mundane errands of this life.

Another house off another street. Where my ex used to live in this past life. His parents’ house? Just turn right there.

My parents lived down that road to your left. I never visited them, even though I lived just 20 minutes away. Regrets remembered as they now live 5 hours away.

The boarded-up grocery store where old ghosts/friends and I once attempted to buy beer at 10:00 A.M. Refused, we walked back to that ghost filled house down the street where I used to live.

I run into ghosts, while shopping, at fast food restaurants, at the library. Every where I turn, I fear running into someone from my past. Running into someone who remembers that all these ghosts exist, while I think of the ghost that they are.

In my present life, where the ghosts don’t exist, where they are shuffled back, away, in the deep recesses of a sometimes regret-filled, sometimes happy memory, I forgot all these ghosts existed. It was not until we bought the house, moved in, got comfortable, did the ghosts reappear. They hid out, never surfacing before the decision was made. Now, they are everywhere I go. Inescapable. Omnipresent.

I spent years away from this part of town, from this city even. Making new memories and meeting new people, who are now ghosts that exist in different spots and different states. Moving back to this area, has resurrected hundreds of ghosts, in every corner. I can’t hide from them.

Ghosts definitely live here, but now, so do I. I must make peace with the ghosts. Good and bad ghosts. They are in the past, but they are also a big part of me.

This is a part of Grace's experiment. I stole the first line of this post from You'll Never Eat Lunch in This town Again, by Julia Phillips.

Only Cute While Sleeping

Yesterday, on one of my 20 trips up and down the stairs to keep the dog from eating out of the litterbox, the dog stepped in front of me and I not so gracefully sprained my ankle trying to catch myself.

I was in such pain, began crying, and the stupid, evil dog, came running up to me and crawled into my lap, despite the path to the litterbox now being clear and there being no way I was going to stop him seeing that I was bawling from the searing pain in my ankle.

He sure can be sweet sometimes. Usually it is while he is sleeping though.

AND TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN YOUNG MAN!

A couple years back when I had my wisdom teeth removed, although I was totally out of my gourd, I was conscious throughout the entire process. When the surgery was over, I distinctly remember the look on the doctor’s face. He looked worn, he wiped his brow, took a deep breath and just sat back in awe of all he had accomplished. In my mouth. (That’s what he said). He looked tired and a bit surprised.

I went home and nearly died for 4 days before I had to go back to work. The right side of my face swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. I didn’t eat anything but mashed potatoes and mac and cheese from KFC for a month because I could barely fit a spoon in my mouth, much less chew. About 2 weeks after the surgery, I returned to the doctor who was extremely pleased to see me and the results. He was thrilled that I was ok.

BECAUSE! When I left his office the day of the surgery, he wasn’t overly confident of the whole affair.

It just so happened that I had a huge nerve wrapped all around the roots of my wisdom tooth.

He had to break up the tooth and gingerly pick out the pieces, praying that he didn’t sever the nerve. He was a bit freaked out after the surgery, hoping that he hadn’t damaged my face. To his credit, he didn’t.

I have been having problems off and on since my days in New Mexico. When Not Craig and I were working our butts off trying to run 5 miles non-stop (a goal which has never ever happened), I injured myself.

The pain would go away, but it would return if I started working out again, or if I crossed my legs, or if I fell asleep on my right side or if it was Tuesday.

It just kept reoccurring.

Not Craig has been telling me to go to the doctor since it started. I hate doctors. I hate waiting, I hate explaining my problem and I hate having to recall when my last period was even though I am there for a sore throat because, ahem, those 2 areas are NOT related.

Recently, I have been walking the dog twice a day, averaging about a mile and a half each walk. I would alternate running with walking in order to try to wear the dog out. Which is another post in itself because, hello, his breed herds sheep all day long, how is one human going to possibly provide a challenge to him.

When I woke up on Thursday, the old pain was back. It was mild, but it was there. I persisted and walked Colt that morning, but bowed out on the evening walk. Friday, I woke up and walked Colt with pain, lots o’ pain. Friday during the day, I went to the doctor. Finally, after a year and a half. I hurt.

The doctor took about 2 minutes of listening to me, rubbing my butt (which I am not so sure was as much a diagnostic tool as a girl-on-girl feel up) and diagnosed me.

Piriformis. My muscle is intertwined with my sciatic nerve. 10% of the population have this particular set up.

Seriously, it is otherwise known as Deep Buttock Syndrome. Ya’ll I wish I was just making this up. Fo Realz. Insert all the jokes you wish, Not Craig and I could use some new ones.

And plus? This condition is chronic. I can try to prevent it or minimize it, but I am officially diagnosed with a chronic condition of old lady-dom. I also can now be all crotchy and complain how my sciatica is killing me.

Point being, I have two nerve issues that are rare in the general populace.

Does anyone know of any other weird nerve issues where the nerves aren’t where they should be? I assume all my nerves are misplaced at this point and would like to have something specific to freak out about.

The Post Where I Show That I Am Absolutely Nucking Futs

The most sure-fire way to ensure I will not accomplish something is to tell people that I will do it.

Logically, the exact opposite would occur. I would feel responsible to complete the project, go to the whatever, buy the widget, see the movie, write the blog post. However, in reality, if I tell you I will do something, I won’t do it.

Several weeks back, I said that I had a post to write about the thrills of homeownership. Of course, I never wrote it.

However, due to my new to-do listing, I keep being confronted by the fact that I owe the internets a blog post regarding the big hole in my backyard. I have pictures of it. I have thoughts and angry funny comments stewing in my brain, yet my stubborn side doesn’t want to put it down on paper.

Instead, let’s talk about this to-do list project.

First off, I am a major stress-aholic.

I take on way too many things and then freak out about them.

If my home, life, car, relationship, pets, clothes, backyard, aren’t in tip top shape, I worry about them.

If there is something I can worry about, I will.

I always have things on my mind. Things I MUST COMPLETE NOW OR DIE. Things I MUST CLEAN OR DIE. Things I MUST DO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT OR DIE.

I may be a bit psychotic. (If Not Craig is reading, I would appreciate your silence. K.Thx.Bai.)

I also read a lot of blogs. And some of those blogs frequently mention, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. A book - slash - way of organizing - slash - living by David Allen.

Recently, the stress of buying a home, planning a wedding, having a puppy that likes to destroy furniture, clothing and various cleaning implements all while peeing on my brand new floors 10 times a day, became a bit much for me. I decided to check out the book.

Of course, like any internet addict would do, I also googled “GTD” as it is known by its followers (yea, fo realz, I swear it has a cult following.) and read many, many things about it.

I then began to use one of the most highly recommended applications.

Remember The Milk: this is an online to-do list. You can email to-do’s to the list, you can have daily reminders emailed to you, you can set the tasks to recur on whatever frequency you so desire, you can postpone, you can organize your to-do’s into all sorts of lists. It is an incredibly useful tool.


I began using RTM like mad. Adding all sorts of tasks. Things big like “Plan a wedding” and things small like “Watch Glenn Beck 1/19 on Fox” Important events like changing the air filters in my house and fertilizing the lawn and getting the dog his shots. The ever-critical items like dusting the tops of my kitchen cabinets. I have been adding huge tasks and ridiculous minutiae to my RTM page.

Then, as is my modus operandi, I worried that maybe I wasn’t listing all the things I needed to remember. I thought of a ton of things while driving home from work. What about those tasks?

The point of GTD [for die-hard GTD’ers, I am a newbie, so I will be oversimplifying I am sure (for non-GTD’ers, see it is a cult – I am fearful of being caught and exposed for my lack of GTDing-ness.)] is to get things out of your head and onto a list of action items, any little task, idea, desire, needs to be captured so it is not swimming in your brain, making you panic at the thought of forgetting the thought. So before I even finished the first chapter of GTD, I thought I was going to be a big failure because I wasn’t capturing the items that happened to occur to me when I was over 2.5 feet from a computer (which only occurs during my commute, because I have an illness.)

In order to stop the panic attacks, I searched for something to capture these driving induced to-do’s and I found Reqall. Which may very well be 100x greater than sliced bread AND New Kids on the Block combined.

You call ReQall. And speak, tell them what is worrying you, what amazing task you must accomplish, like “Look for Yoda’s vet records and ensure that she will not die due to being vaccinated 10 days late.” Then Reqall transcribes what you said and emails it to you, so you can add it to your to-do list.

I know I am sounding like such a freak already, but I swear, this is a true story. One night I got home and checked my email to find 10 Reqall messages from myself. Ya’ll, I live 20 miles from my office. I apparently called in tasks every 2 miles.

The super awesome added bonus to Reqall is that if you don’t speak clearly, or have an accent, or a static-y connection, Reqall provides built in entertainment. Apparently, I need to write a blog post on the poll on the arts and remember to take TV dinner store tomorrow.

All in all, this freakish behavior of mine is getting my life organized, my head is feeling less full of stress and garbage and overall worry about ensuring that I check the whirlpool tub's shutoff system three months from now.

I haven’t instituted most of the GTD actions, primarily, because I haven’t read more than half the book yet. However, perhaps, the action of reading about organizing my life, has created a calm in me. Simply getting all the craziness out of my head and into a nice little program that I can check at work and at home, at 3:00 AM and 3:00 PM, has helped me chill a bit.

I will keep you posted on how I do with GTD in the future. If I join the cult and if they have a cool handshake or maybe robes. And by saying I will keep you posted, I mean you will never hear me talk about this again.

Stolen Lines #1 - I Spoke, But It Wasn't The Right Answer.

I tried to think of the right answer. Unable to think of that, I spoke anyway.

He had asked if there was a chance that we would get back together. After hemming and hawing, standing in the entryway to Kohl’s, waiting for this call to be over, I said, “Maybe. I just need some time. To figure out if this is what I even want anymore.” Little did he know that I had already bought furniture for my new apartment, an apartment that he didn’t know I had leased. I was moving on, trying to shop for new clothes for my new life without him, while he asked questions that I couldn’t bring myself to answer with honesty.

The next few weeks were difficult given we were in the same apartment, living completely different lives. Well, no, the new reality wasn’t that different. We had been living different existences for some time. After six years together, we were staying in separate bedrooms since I had a 9-5’er and he was working at a bar at night. Once every couple weeks, we may have shared a bed. Only to have one of us get up in the middle of the night and go to the couch or the other bedroom, unable to sleep with the intrusion of a near stranger into our personal space. We lived on different planes, shared friends who would tell me what this man, who was living under the same roof, hoping to live the same life as me, what he was up to. We rarely talked on the phone. We didn’t have anything to say to each other. The only remaining thing we had in common was a rent check, our dirty laundry, touching more frequently than we did.

I never gave him the right answer, the honest answer, the answer he deserved. My actions spoke for me. I moved out, I stopped answering his calls. He was not the future I wanted anymore. I didn’t know how to express this to him without hurting him so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have the right answer, the one that he wanted.

This is a part of Grace's experiment. The first two sentences were stolen from Night of the Avenging Blowfish, by John Welter.

The Dog Made Me Not Do It

I know I said I had a post today. This is Not it.

This is a complain-y post written right before I go to bed.

Raising a puppy is a pain in the rear.

He has been ever so trying this weekend.

We thought he was so very house-trained. Shocked in fact, the first couple days.

Lies. It was all lies. Deceit. Perpetrated by that evil tiny thing in order to make us believe he was good. When in fact, he is an evil pee-er.

May I take a break from this complaint to praise the homebuilder for putting tile on the bottom floor of our home.

Thank you. I heart the tile.

However, to return to the complaining, I cleaned up puppy pee 7 times yesterday. 7 spots.

Let me repeat.

Seven.

Seven times in one day.

After a perfect first week, he is warming up to us, getting comfortable and letting loose.

Don't get me wrong, he is still really cute. And can be very sweet.

The constant training. A drain.

Beyond being on constant Pee Watch, we are not allowing him upstairs due to the cats, litterboxes, and wall to wall carpeting.

We don't have a baby gate there, and it is extremely hard to put one there due to the stair railing being open, and the cats knocking it over, so I am trying to teach him it is off limits.

He runs halfway up the stairs, to the landing halfway up the stairs. I chase after him, saying "No" in my stern voice, and "Down" I stomp on the stairs to make noise that will startle him.

After running up the stairs 74 times, he understands that he is not to be there. It is off limits. But he still wants to sniff cat butt, so he persists, hoping not to be caught. However, due to my newly attuned dog watching abilities (see 7 puddles in one day), I have seen him and have ran after him.

We have done this, I swear, at least 70 times this weekend. He has the idea, "I am not allowed up there," he gets that. Yet he can't stop himself from pursuing cat ass.

I understand the allure. Well, no. Not really, but whatevs, he is a dog. Albeit the purported smartest breed Ever. (Don't trust me, Wiki says so.)

I know, I know. He is a baby that requires lots of training. I have been to the library, I have books. I am working on it.

But oh my, I fully and totally get my reluctance to get a dog. Cats are soooo easy. They require zilch zero training. Their mothers teach them how to use the litter box. Then you May have to train them to stay off the table/counters, but that is it.

Dogs - you have to train every little detail. Their ability to destroy shoes, shirts, furniture, knick knacks, cats....you have to work with them every waking moment to ensure they aren't hellions.

Please bear with me. There are sure to be many many more posts of this nature.

Oh, and his name is Colt. Colt McTrouble Last Name Omitted to Protect the Innocent.

2008 - Summed Up

I wrote this days ago. And then the topic of my next post occurred and I was without internet. I will have the next post up tomorrow or 3 weeks from now if the internet fails me again. So yea, the post was timely, posting was not. It ain’t my fault.


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

Got engaged, bought a house. These will be recurring themes on this list. Sorry, 10 months of the year were kinda slow.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I have no idea. If I made any resolutions it has been 365 days since I made them. I don’t know what I did yesterday so, maybe we should be moving on.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My sister being at the top of the list. No, wait. The kid is a year and a half, which would make it impossible for my sister to have spawned in 2008. So scratch that. Unless she had a child that she hid from us. So in that case, yea.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My BFF’s father. In a horrible awful accident that brings tears to my eyes as I type this. That really, really sucked. Her family is doing remarkably well given the craptastic hand 2008 dealt.

5. What countries did you visit?

Jamaica. Loved it. Definitely would return.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Size 8 jeans on my ass.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?

January 16 – the date that I got Not Craig a job in Houston. Just 3 months after I made the scary decision to go back to Houston without him, thinking it would be at least July before his coming to Houston was even a possibility.

Early September - The entire week of Jamaica. Which now upon doing a review of my blog, I find that I didn’t discuss the actual trip much, except the huge bruise I received. Given all the hurricane related posts around that time period, I completely forgot. I blame Ike. Which I guess means those damn hurricanes may be etched into my memory.

November 23 – I got engaged to my best friend.

December 8 – We closed on our first house.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Convincing this awesome guy that I was so cool that he should spend the rest of his life with me.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not being nice to Not Craig every day.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Back issues related to my driving like a dumbass.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The house. I may say the puppy in a couple months. But he peed on my carpet last night, so he is not at the top of the list.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Not Craig’s. He put up with me and still wanted to marry me. I am pretty sure he is taking drugs.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My own a fair amount of the time.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Have you ever put a down payment on a house?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Have you seen the days etched in my memory up there. I think all of those are extreme excitement worthy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

In Your Eyes. Not Craig was super cool and played that when he asked if I would be his forever.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? .Lots happier
b) thinner or fatter? Lots fatter
c) richer or poorer? Lots poorer, but working on building that nest egg back up.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Slept. This has been one helluva exhausting ride.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Ate. Complained. Paid attention to the Britney Spears saga.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Already done. I put together a million piece playset. It was an extremely bad idea.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Every day.

22. How many one-night stands?

365.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

I would prefer to say Heroes. But somehow I always missed it. The only shows I really saw were The Dog Whisperer and House Hunters.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Election years are a bit tumultuous. And then this whole economic BS. Hate is a strong word….

25. What was the best book you read?

I did a very poor job on completing my reading list this year. Oops.


26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

IDK. My BFF Rose?

27. What did you want and get?

Love and happiness.

28. What did you want and not get?

Is it wrong of me to not have anything to say to this. I think I got darned near every single thing a girl could want.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

I know I saw lots of movies…but I have no idea what they were. I couldn’t tell you what the movie was about on the drive home from the theater immediately after watching it. I do however now the phone numbers of all my friends growing up 20 years ago. My brain works in mysterious ways.

30. What did you do on your birthday?

Looking back, it appears that I freaked out about a hurricane hitting Jamaica. Amazingly, all that worrying didn’t move the damned hurricane. I believe there is a lesson there.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Space travel. Or a caramel apple.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

LMAO! ROFLMAO. Thrift store chic? 1996 coolness. I have never been stylish. Ever. Nope. Not me.

33. What kept you sane?

Not Craig.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Blech. None.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Election year. What a stupid question.

36. Who did you miss?

Family. My BFF’s Dad. Most recently, Cass.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Yikes. I am such a hermit. This is bad. I am going to have to say that stupid dog that is whining in the background. Because I haven’t met anyone new. I must get out more.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

Nothing in life is more important than spending time with those you love. Even if that time is at Wal-Mart.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump.

Am Too Busy To Title This Post.

Looking back at the last month is a bit overwhelming.

I haven't been around much because my job - they are making me work really hard for the money. Really hard.

Buying a new house? Um, time-consuming. Getting ready each morning is much more difficult when you have to wiggle along the floor past the windows, naked, because you haven't put up curtains yet. Also, losing the keys for 3 weeks is a bad idea.

New homes? Don't have innernet access. You have to have a huge tunnel for cabling dug in your backyard. And then they don't bury it.

And you live in fear that the new dog that you just got, is going to eat the cable. But you can't decide which is worse - the potential for electrocution of the dog or the loss of internets once the dog gets electrocuted.



Sorry the pic kinda sucks. I can't find my camera, so this is a phone pic. And he doesn't stop moving ever. He is an 8 week old border collie. Please name him. We suck at naming animals - our 1 1/2 year old cat is officially named Kitten. So please help this poor dog.

Don't even get me started on Christmas. My sister - employs slave labor and pays in tamales and Monster energy drinks.

I spent my Christmas vacation putting this together.




It took 4 people 2 days to put it together. 2 entire days. From 7 AM until dark.

My kids - never getting a play set. They have their aunt to blame.

So, in review:

2007 - This Year Can Totally Suck it.

2008 - The Best Year Ever.

2009 - On Track to Be The Best Year Ever.

Fred Thompson on the Economy

Hello (Family) and Goodbye (Cass)

For the past 2 weeks, beyond the thrill/fear/panic of buying our new house, I have been freaking out about today. A couple weeks back, it was decided that Not Craig’s family was going to come to our house for Thanksgiving due to a series of events. Then, due to a series of canceled plans of their own, my parents were asked to come to our house. Our apartment, which does not fit more than 4 people comfortably, was soon to have nearly 3 times that many people, 3 cats and a huge bird.

I have never cooked a turkey before. I have never been responsible for such a huge meal before. Well, I chickened out and bought a box of pre-cooked stuff from Kroger. They say it is pre-cooked. While it is easier than cooking everything from scratch, it was still a 2 ½ hour production.

Dinner turned out great. The first meeting of our parents, turned out great. In between dinner and dessert, we all drove out to our new house so that our families, which all live out of town, could see the home. Our parents all rode together. And they loved each other.

They all oohed and aahed over how wonderful their son, and their soon to be son-in-law did at picking out a conflict free gem for their daughter and soon to be daughter-in-law.

Nearing the end of our Thanksgiving celebration, I gave my parents a gift, which they never disclosed to me that they wanted. A secret wish for a sweet cat they kept for months during my transition back to Houston last year, which I spent living in a hotel for 2 months. A secret they never shared with me, yet readily disclosed when Not Craig drove 4 hours to ask for my hand. My sweet Cass will be overwhelmingly happy with my parents living as an only child.

What a perfect day.

What a wonderful way for our families to begin the sharing of our lives together.

How thankful I am.

Spewing Forth The Words

I am an extremely polite person. My mother is a quiet, calm, introverted woman who rarely makes any manner missteps. She taught me by example to be a quiet, polite, respectful person.

One thing she was never able to pass on to me is to keep my mouth shut. If she has something to say, she won’t say it. It drives me crazy to this day that she would never express an opinion about some of the wayward things I did when I was younger. After I broke off my previous long-term relationships with jerky, lazy, good for nothing no-gooders, she expressed relief and said that she was concerned about the relationship, that she didn’t agree with it. I always wanted to scream at her, “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING!” Words from my mom may have made me come to my senses before I spent 5 years with each of those losers.

But never….she always kept it in. Waited until I realized, on my own, what a bad decision I had made, before she said a word.

The extreme politeness.

I have none of that. If I feel something, if I am mad, if I think the movie sucked, if I think your boyfriend is a jerk, I will try to keep my mouth shut, because as my momma taught me, it is polite to shut the fuck up, however, I promise you that my feelings are going to come out at some time. I can’t help myself. The words sit at the back of my throat gagging me until I have to either get them out or suffocate.

This is why I haven’t been around here. I had words that have been smothering me. Words that I wanted to say so badly yet I couldn’t do it yet.

Another way I am completely different from my mom is that I am not very good at keeping my business a secret. Not in the Britney Spears way of exposing her business, but in the, I am an open book and will tell some stranger at the grocery store my life story way.

And excitement. I have rarely seen my mom truly excited. She has such a calm nature whereas I am, well, spastic at times. I am not easily contained.

My feelings, my excitement, my words spew out of me, out of control.

So when, several weeks ago, Not Craig and I did something wild and crazy and utterly awesome, I didn’t tell many people.

Oh I told some, he told some. We couldn’t keep ourselves contained that well. However, pending actual definite approval, we kept it a bit under wraps. I haven’t told anyone except the absolute required people I work with and I didn’t write a word on here, because I knew I couldn’t write about anything else so I stayed away.

In fact, now that I am getting closer to leaking it to you guys, I am not sure if I want to spill it just yet.

Nothing is final yet, what if it all falls through.

And for some, others who have already walked in these shoes, it is not a big deal. To Not Craig and I, though, it is huge. We have been wanting to do this for some time and hadn’t thought it possible just yet. Thought that although we had been doing things responsibly for some time, that we just weren’t quite in the right position yet, apparently however, some fool disagreed and totally qualified us to buy our very first home.

A gorgeous home.

A home that I am so in love with.

In a place that I am so in love with.

With a man that I am so in love with.

So Yea us. And Yea me for keeping my flapping gums shut for a whole three weeks.

We were just approved for the mortgage, a daunting thing given the current climate. I guess I should thank Barney Frank and his stupid cronies for making it possible that banks are continuing to lend. Thanks Paulson. Thanks RINO’s. I appreciate you giving Not Craig and I the same opportunities millions of other people get. The opportunity to foreclose on our very first home. Thank you. Now I am going to go tell every single soul I run into.

Three's Company Had a Very Clean House

I just saw a news snippet about polygamy. I only saw a minute of it, but it appeared to be a threesome in some third-world country stating that their way of life is the only way they knew, that it was normal for a husband to have two wives.

Maybe I am just tired and my fingers a bit dried out from cleaning the shower, but I think it is safe to go on the record in support of multiple wives. Personally, I need to find a wife that can be the bathroom cleaner, the laundry washer, the floor scrubber, the cat handler, the grocery buyer, the dinner preparer, etc., and so forth. I can handle the couch cuddling, companionship, lights going out wifely duties, I just would like to interview a few Stepford Wives to handle the other duties I have.

I understand that from the beginning of time, women handled the household duties while men hunted, came home and sat around the campfire farting. No matter how I consider that women all across the world are doing more than men are at home, it doesn’t make me feel any better or less tired or less resentful that I am scrubbing dishes at 10 at night instead of curled up on the couch.

Years ago, yet in an incident I remember so vividly, I was with my parents handling the cleaning of a relative’s home after the mother had died. My mom and I scrubbed and swept, and dusted and mopped while my dad sat on a bench outside and stared into the sky. I asked my mom how she handled that all these years. She just sighed, and said, “Well, I got used to it.” I remember being mad at my dad initially, and then getting angry with my mom as the words settled in. She allowed it to happen. She allowed him to be lazy and not give his share. I told myself that I wouldn’t allow that, it was going to be equal in my house.

Oh, youth. How naive I was.

Or maybe it’s true, men marry their mothers, women marry their fathers.

Give me a woman who doesn’t feel that she does more around the house, with the management of finances or chores or the children. I want to meet her man. And kidnap him.

I don’t want to come across as too much of a Complainy McComplainer Pants. Not Craig is amazing. He is such a great man and I love him to pieces. He is wonderful in a million different ways. I would rather have him be all that he is, than merely a great housekeeper.

Thing is, I just wish that I wasn’t in charge of everything at home. I wish when I got home one night, the house would be clean, the laundry started, dinner on the table, the cats fed. I wish my weekends were spent carefree, not wondering where I was going to squeeze in a stop at the grocery store or wondering just how many days I can wear those pants before they start reeking.

It is one of those great axioms of life. To make a man feel loved, give him sex. To make a woman feel loved, do the dishes.

How about you? How are the household chores divided up? Do you feel that you do more than a fair share? Does your hubby help out willingly or just because you have threatened castration? How do you handle the anger/frustration about this topic? How often does it come up as an argument point?

Just tell me I am not alone here.

My Finds

I have posted before (and again and again and again ) how I love estate sales and thrift stores. This weekend was a good one... I took my chances at an estate sale advertised as having great stuff, despite being in a bad part of town. "You can find awesome knick-knacks while dodging bullets." Great marketing, folks.

If I was still Ebaying, oh how I would have spent so much money. As it was, I had to limit what I bought as I have a quasi-policy of buying only items I need or have an idea of exactly what I will do with my purchase.

So what will $15 buy you at an estate sale in Houston?


Books! An illustrated Bible story book published in 1939.

1960 printing - Why It's A Holiday

Oh look... a fitting holiday... Do I get that day off?


Do you remember when I said a few sentences ago where I buy only things that I have an actual purpose for? Forget that. This thing has no purpose other than to make me smile at its freaking adorableness. I love this! And I have no good reason to have it. It doesn't match anything at all in my house. So yea, this was something I just had to have.

And Kitten had to get in the picture. She is something that I did not have to have. She is completely Not Craig's fault.


I do have a problem with collecting coats, purses and small bowls that hold sauces. Granted, I use a lot of honey mustard, barbecue sauce and other dippables, but it doesn't really make any sense to have as many small bowls as I have. Nor does it make any sense why, when I live in a subtropical climate, that I own 14 coats.


Astroworld closed sometime ago. Any time that I spy any Astroworld stuff I get it. I will most likely sell them.


I love this shallow metal pan. I have no idea what to do with this either, but really, how could I not bring it home. I will probably either hang it somewhere or will use it is a catchall by the door.
My habit of collecting purses continues. Does anyone have a closet I can borrow? I am just not a shoe girl. Instead, I collect coats and purses.

(There is one other book I bought, but I am not showing you. If I ever get around to mailing things - ahem - Jamaica prizes - ahem - Kaytabug will have a present. So look for it sometime in 2011.)

Racist, Decapitating Elevators and Other Things I Make Up

This morning when I was in the elevator, the doors were closing and out of nowhere, this guy pops up, throws his arms between the doors, setting off the sensor and allowing the doors to reopen.

While ascending to the lobby, we have the standard banter about elevators, banter like I typically have with others who threaten amputation by elevator door. (Look, it happens). In my building, some elevators don’t respond to an obstruction in the path of the doors. They just keep closing no matter whose arm, leg or bag may be trying to set off the sensor so the doors reopen. You can trust your various body parts to some elevators, but need to be wary of others. (And I am not even mentioning how rude it is to force someone to wait on you when you were clearly not in time for that elevator. It is extremely rude, but I am not mentioning it.)

Personally, I respect the sovereignty of the elevator doors. If they are closing, I don’t try to get them to reopen by throwing my arm in between the doors. I wait for the next elevator.

I have strange fears - I refuse to put any item in the back window of my car because if I am in a car crash, I will be decapitated by the flying box of Kleenex. I once heard that in driver’s ed. Or somewhere. Same thing with the elevator, I just can’t bring myself to test fate and hope that the elevator I am trying to catch has a sensor that isn’t dusty and will definitely not crush my arm and then once trapped, will decapitate me.

Ok…so…. Moving on from the decapitation. Because I am pretty sure now everyone knows elevator = decapitation.

So this guy and I are talking about how some elevators you can get to reopen and others won’t reopen no matter how anxiously you wave your arm between the doors as they close.

Some elevators close no matter what.

And this guy says, “Those must be Republican elevators.”

I laughed, “haha, yea.”

Yet I have NO IDEA what that means.

How is an elevator either Democrat or Republican, how do we know it isn’t Independent or perhaps a Libertarian? I bet that elevator actually is all “Ron Paul 2012!”

I am so tired of the election, talking about the candidates, seeing their mugs all over the news, hearing all the allegations of who is being meaner, who will ruin the economy, who is the racist-ist. I am so sick of it all.

I want to say that as soon as I finish voting, on October 20^th, the day early voting opens in Texas, that I will be done with it. That I won’t watch anything about it on TV, or read Drudge, or discuss it with my co-workers. Yet I can’t say that because I know it is a lie. I will. I will stress out for the remaining weeks wondering who will win. Although I am sure this election will have another Florida mishap and we won’t know who the President-Elect is for weeks after November 4^th.

I am thinking that maybe I should just tempt fate once I have voted and see if my fear of decapitation by elevator is warranted. I consider it my civic duty.

The Bailout

I found this somewhere today. It speaks perfectly to where our nation has fallen.

From Bondage to Spiritual Faith

From Spiritual Faith to Great Courage

From Great Courage to Liberty

From Liberty to Abundance

From Abundance to Complacency

From Complacency to Apathy

From Apathy to Dependency

From Dependency back to Bondage

A Democracy will prevail until the populace learns that they can vote themselves entitlements. This leads to Governmental Fiscal Irresponsibility. And this leads back to bondage.