July 30, 2008

My Boss Thinks I Am Crazy. Again.

I was late to work today.

Not because I slept in or played too long on the computer this morning or because I couldn’t figure out what to wear or because I had a flat tire or because of traffic or because of any other plausible excuse.

I was late to work this morning because on my way into the office, just as I hit the downtown streets, the downtown streets of the fourth largest city in the U.S., at 8 A.M., which is rush hour, in a huge metropolitan city, there was a frigging horse in the road. A HORSE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION IN DOWNTOWN HOUSTON.

What was a horse doing in the middle of a freaking intersection in the middle of rush hour in Houston?

The Horse was surrounded by large buses and a bazillion cars in the middle of an intersection, because the Ass that was riding it was pulling over someone.

A mounted cop, took his horse into the middle of an intersection, causing traffic to back up onto the freeway, causing people to slam on their brakes in order to avoid hitting a HORSE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION in order to pull someone over.

I can’t come up with a good reason to pull over someone that involves taking your HORSE INTO THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION. Can you?


July 29, 2008

Houston Music Fetish

I have been trying for some time to sit down and tell ya’ll about my Sunday. It was a most awesomest Sunday. But then I had the most awesomest Monday, which will or will not be featured another day. Now that it is Tuesday, Kaytabug is bugging me to Plurk and I am being stubborn. I won’t do it until I get this wordy and Youtube intensive research project done. Amen. Word to my Mom.

For many a year now, I have gone to the thingy ma bobber that I went to on Sunday. While out and about, I saw a tee that said 1997, so the event has been going on forev-a. Almost as long as I have been out of high school, which is an eternity. There isn’t a wiki page dedicated to the deal, so I can’t say how long exactly. And, um, could we get a wiki page going, because that is the only place I get my facts. Help a girl out.

Every July, Houston’s “alternative” press paper throws this huge event in downtown. At 17,000 clubs, there are 70 billion different bands playing. You pay a pittance to get into all these venues and see all these bands.

They have every genre imaginable playing at these assorted venues. For the diligent sort, here is a long-azz review of the bands that played this year.

Without further adieu, let’s see who I saw:

At 5 P.M., we started off with Brian’s Johnson (We really did start at 4, but we totally did not like the band that was playing at the venue we selected as a gathering point, so let’s just pretend we were late and started at 5. K? Thx.)

Brian’s Johnson is an ACDC cover band that one person in our entourage had seen the night before and declared them “awesome”. I will say they were good. Not freaking amazing, but strongly good, bordering on great. . . . (youtube search break) . . . Apparently, I will not qualify as an ACDC fan, because it appears that someone in ACDC is named Brian Johnson, hence the name, how clever, Fianna had no clue. Moving on.

I couldn't find a video for your listening pleasure. So here is an ACDC video, imagine other guys up there playing, and fewer people, and you are nearly there.

6 PM – Once it was 6, I was rocking with Mighty Orq. The lead singer, Orq, is freaking awesome. He is a nice guy when a mic isn’t in his face, so he gets extra points. I have seen him many times over the past few years, but the first time I saw him was at the Press Awards years ago, and my ass was shown shaking it on the evening news. The next day, one of the partners came into my office first thing in the morning and asked me about it. Yea. . So yea.

I couldn’t find the song I wanted to link to, but if you work with me a bit, you can hear a small portion of it by going here, and then clicking on Carry Me Home. One of his chillax songs. Not booty shaking. The news didn’t show me while this song was on.

It coulda been this song that introduced my shaking azz to the Houston Lawyer's Association.

The Seven O’Clock special, Fondue Monks, is another repeat that I saw at the Press Awards a while back. We later met the lead singer, “Denver” who was very nice and appreciative and maybe a bit drunk.

8 PM – Skyblue 72 rocked. I saw them for the first time a few months back at my beloved Mucky Duck. When I saw the lineup for the Press Show, I only called this band. I let the others decide on who else we saw as long as I got my Skyblue 72. Girl power, Rwwaarrr.

At 9 P.M., nicely soused, we saw another redo, Lonestar Pornstar. I saw them a couple years ago, and then went to them again the next year and lookie here, they are back again. Awesome band. Awesome way to end the night. Bouncing around to some badass rock.

Their brand of music does not translate well to handheld video cameras or cell phone recordings. I found the following video, but it is totally Milli Vanilli'd.

I hope you guys enjoy a bit of this music. I had a wonderful time seeing some great live acts. If you think I have horrible taste, check out this review of the bands and find somebody better and then come back and tell me about it.

(And let me apologize if this post makes no sense. I know the grammar-ly issue is worse than most of my non-grammar-ious posts. Mama is tired. I have been having lots of fun and my old bones are screaming for sleep.)

July 27, 2008

Girl Schmirl or The Pugilist (Because I Really Wanted to Use That Word Somewhere)

I am not a girlie girl. I am pretty close to the opposite of one. From what I remember, it has always been this way, which given my upbringing, is odd. I grew up with a sister, my best friends were 3 girls, one of which had a sibling – a girl. There were no boys around when I was growing up, until, of course, they were an object of lust.

For some reason, these girls, my 3 best friends, my sister, and my friend’s sister, I would hesitate to call any of us anything other than tomboys.

Sure, we played with dolls, had a list of boys that we thought were cute, with some convoluted system of rating said cuteness (K – do you have these anymore? Because that – total blog fodder), took home ec, sewed, cooked, etc. and so forth.

Even though now, I won’t go anywhere without painted toenails and lipsticked lips, these are probably the only things that make me a girly girl. If there was a club or an organization of girlness, I would be on probation all the time. Or more likely, banned for life.

For example:

I prefer steak and potatoes to … well anything.

I have had one pedicure in my life, and that was only because the wedding party I was in, all got pedicures. Which just as an aside, the bride, just to point out the type of girls I get involved with, announced loudly while we were getting ready that she needed to go to the bathroom. #2. And she went #2 in her wedding dress. I am pretty sure that she is quite proud of this to this very day. She probably farted really loud walking down the aisle and blamed someone else, too. I know there is a video with her belching into the camera extremely loudly. Again, in her wedding dress. I love that girl.

I have never had a professional massage. I despise chocolate. I hate diamonds.

Friday night, I could have watched either While You Were Sleeping or Pulp Fiction. No way in hell that this was even a contest. Pulp Fiction, even though I have seen it 72,821 times. While You Were Sleeping? I don’t believe I have ever seen it. Nor do I have any desire to do so.

I do have a couple girly friends. Ok, one. She lives in another state – (not Kaytabug). This friend was wishing that we lived in the same area the other day. She commented that if we were in the same city, she would like to go have some coffee and then go see Mamma Mia.

I am not a good friend.

Because I could not stop myself from immediately busting out laughing. Um, Mamma Mia? Do you even know who I am? I would rather go see Batman, X-Files, Step-Brothers, Hellboy or even Journey to the Center of the Earth. Honestly, if I had to choose between Death Race and Mamma Mia? The previews for Death Race make me want to vomit and then fling the vomit at the screen, it is so bad. But if I had to choose between that stupid flick and Mamma Mia, I think I would choose Death Race. At least people would die in Death Race.

Most of the time, my girliness or lack thereof, isn’t on my mind, or considered in any sort of fashion, but between the above movie discussion and my day yesterday, I was quite intrigued by my failure as a chick. Intrigued enough to actually sit and write a post which is something that I have really, really sucked at recently. Although if you knew how exciting my life has been recently, you would so totally forgive me.

Yesterday, we went to a Gun Show. And I totally enjoyed it. And then we went to a friend’s house where they have 2 TV’s. I had a choice between hanging out with the wife watching old X-File episodes(which is a hell of a lot better than any other potential chick watching item) and with the guys and the TV with the PPV boxing.

You know what I chose, of course you do, we are cool like that.

July 25, 2008

Music Friday - Journey

As soon as you start the video, close your eyes. Halfway through open them. Just trust me on this.

Did he fool you? Here is a small portion of the story behind this.

How cool is that! Thanks to the Houstonist.

July 23, 2008

Name This Post.

I feel that it is important to accomplish something every day. Big or small. Although the big accomplishments should, of course, outweigh the small on the grand scale. So I live my life that way, curing polio one day, taking a shower the next. Big and small.

Today - I did not punch out the dentist. It took great strength to hold back, yet I did it.

Big or small? Who knows, but now, I can go back to bed.

And if you were wondering where I have been, I blog all the time over at Twitter. Do you have any idea how hard it is to create posts that require over 141 characters? Nearly impossible, folks. I have found just enough strength and not utterly boring stuff to blog at Twitter. One day, I may do better. But today, I didn't punch out anyone. Work with me here.

Oh and think positive thoughts as my sis rides out a hurricane. A baby hurricane, but those things are powerful. 6 hours north of her and we are getting rain bands. Rain bands, much like rubber bands.

(Is this really a blog post or just the mad rantings of an idiot. It is hard to tell sometimes!)

July 16, 2008

Rhetorical Thought Patterns

I need to start carrying a voice recorder with me. I have some amazingly funny thoughts. Yet I never get them written down and when I remember, hey, you had some unbelievable hilarious stuff to tell the internets, it never fails, my memory falls short.

Yesterday, I had numerous instances like that. There were some very funny things to tell ya’ll about my trip to the downtown grocery store. The one where you park beneath it and you ride an elevator to get to it.

And the bus barn? Or bus stop? Oh wait, terminal. Greyhound has a huge terminal (that is right, right?) in downtown Houston. This area is not for the suburbanite, non-city dweller, not used to seeing people peeing into the gutter. The area frightens me sometimes, me, the one with a crack house on the corner of her street (it is being remodeled now, but I reminisce to the days of yore), the one who recognizes all the panhandlers around her neighborhood, and says hello to them. Transient folks circle the place, I have no idea if they are planning on hijacking a bus or what, but there is a bus/homeless person problem off downtown.

On the way home, again, lots of funny crap swirling in my brain-o, yet I forgot to write it down. There was the caddy with spoke type rims and protrusions from said rims. It reminded me of cowboy spurs or that stupid movie they are showing previews for, Death Race, I think. It is so bad I don’t want to even bother looking it up to get you a proper title. But, this caddy, if it got too close, or if I wandered out of my lane at all, poof, my tires would explode due to his protruding rim thing. Now it is morning, the time when I typically write my ramblings, and I have no idea what my thoughts were. Because the recall I just gave you – not funny.

The actual thoughts last night – Funny with a capital F.

I do recall one not so funny thing. Not nearly as funny as the things I was going to tell you.

When I was doing this carousing downtown yesterday, mid-day, which I am not wont to due typically, I realized I have a lot of those tag things on my keychain. The ones you get from stores.

These things.

I either have my priorities straight or I have a serious drinking problem. (Don’t answer that.)

Two from Spec’s.

You don’t have to laugh, it’s okay. I know my other stuff was freaking hilarious.

Now if I could only figure out where I placed those thoughts.

July 9, 2008

My Greenery

This is my makeshift patio.

I only know what the 2 right pots are - tomato plant and rosemary, and the front rectangular holder, catnip and basil. The others, mmmeerrr, not a clue.

I took the picture to capture the gross bug on one of the pots. See it?

And yea, I am too lazy to actually go out and look at that little tag on that pot to identify it.

The above photo was taken in early June.

I still have not been able to get those tomatoes to grow. This is my first year trying tomatoes.

The first year I even ate fresh tomatoes.

They really aren't doing well. Really really not doing well these days.

Apparently, even though it rains every single day, the plants didn't get all that water.

I feel such guilt.

I am a plant killer.

I loved my little garden. I used the basil quite frequently.

And my cats, they were developing a bit of a 'nip habit.

Maybe it's all for the best.

July 6, 2008

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th. I sure did. We live on the edge of downtown. Very close to city center, very close to where the fireworks are shot off. The nation’s largest firework display – in Houston. I figured if we could watch the fireworks from our place, it would be awesome.

You know what is so much more awesomer? Being invited to a new friend’s house that is blocks from the actual launch site of those fireworks where you are at a perfect eye level just above the tree line, you can feel each firework go off, they feel like they are exploding within just a couple feet from your face and you are drinking the best mojitos gay men can make. I heart living downtown.

We will be moving when the lease on this place is up. There have been weeks worth of discussions and internet searching for where we go next. Do we buy? Do we rent? Where? The ultimate consensus after all these talks is that we will continue living down here. No suburbia for our future.

With the move (in 5 months) in mind, my Type A personality has been freaking out about downsizing our crap stock. I closed shop on my Ebay store a month or so ago after dismal sales. I have pulled all my Ebay stuff together and plan on sorting and selling it in lots, most likely to other sellers.

I have gone through my closet pulling things to get rid. I have gone through the cabinets with the same intention. All in all, I have only 2 garbage bags full of stuff to get rid of outside of the Ebay piles.

This really surprises me. However, I have downsized considerably each time I have moved over the past 3 years. I am now at the point where there just isn’t much more to go. I have quit buying unnecessary knick-knacks and I get rid of clothes as I buy more. And if anyone dare chimes in that a Wii and a Roomba are unnecessary, you are off the Christmas card list. Well, you would be if I ever sent Christmas cards.

I am quite pleased with myself that my consumerism ways have been checked. My savings account reflects it and my closets reflect it. One more way, my Frugal McFrugalitis is working in my favor.

How did you spend your long weekend?

July 1, 2008

Go Go Gadget!

When I went to my sister’s for a family get-together this past week, I really didn’t mean to spend a fortune on gadgets.

Ok, that is a lie.

I totally planned on buying a Wii as they are known to be quite populous in that area. And where my parents live. Yet Houston, nowhere. Houston, we have a problem. Well, not anymore because I have a Wii now, but we did. I guess…

I did not plan nor expect nor even ponder buying a robot floor cleaning wizard. It was a decision thrust upon me by my pushy big sister.

That’s my story.

And the store was going out of business so it was a steal.

And I have always really wanted one.

And with the recent death and resulting thoughts surrounding wasted time and pointless arguments that I would always regret, over all things, housework… I needed a Roomba.

That may be the real story, although my sister? Really good for the economy. Dubya may want to give her a call.

The Roomba? I lurve it. With all my heart.

It works wonderfully, sucking up all the stray cat fur, litter and various crumbs that 3 cats and 2 humans shed.

It has caused me way too much happiness for being just a simple cleaning tool.

My love for the Roomba Vs. the Wii?

A close race.

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