September 11, 2007

My Church Will Kick Your Church’s A**

I am not a regular church-goer. Until 2 years ago, I hadn’t set foot in a church, except for a wedding or a funeral, in over 10 years. I don’t have a church that I attend in New Mexico, in fact, I have only been to one church one time since I have lived there.

I am staying just a hop, skip and a jump away from a large church in Houston and knew I had to visit it while I was here.

When I say large church, I mean really large. Like escalators in the front. Like thousands of members large. Like several different parking garages large.

At the beginning of the service, while the choir was singing, I looked around and wondered how many people were in attendance.

Ya know how churches put on Powerpoint slides of the lyrics to the song that is being sung? I was hoping that they might show the number in attendance on that screen. And make the congregation guess which was correct.

Kinda like they do at sporting events. Where they have the crowd guess how many people are in attendance. In between plays. Basketball plays, in particular.

The last time I was at this church… I don’t remember it all that well. I was wasted, watching the Rockets beat the Utah Jazz.

My church? The Summit. The Compaq Center. The former home of the Houston Rockets.

My church? Kicks your church’s ass. My church holds 16K. The next closest – holds less than half that. My church has 42K visitors each week. The pastor, The pastor’s smile is 2.4 times as large than any other pastor’s smile.

Lakewood Church is amazing. It is huge. It is beautiful. And Joel Osteen. I have loved watching him on TV. I have heard that his book is wonderful. And well, his dentist is deserving of a large portion of my tithe.

His message today was “Marked Moments”. He preached how God has predestined each of our paths. He knows where we are all going, what paths we will each take. He paves the way and sets up obstacles as necessary, to put us on the proper path. This hit home as I know I have experienced several moments in the past few years where God was intervening. Pushing me on a certain path. Moving me towards my destiny.

Thanks Joel (ya know, we are down like that, first names and all). I’ll be back.


Kaytabug said...

ummm you know I love know I am one smart ass bitch...
my "curch" has at least 6.7 billion in it!...I know you love me!

Sauntering Soul said...

My church kicks a** too! We have 20,000 members each Sunday at three campuses around Atlanta and it was voted the 3rd most influential church in America in 2006! (Joel's probably beat us.)

Andy Stanley (our pastor) was voted the 13th most influential Christian in America in 2006.

In 2007, we were voted the 3rd most innovative church in America (did you read my recent post when we had beachballs in church?) and our youth pastor was selected as number three in the country.

Okay, apparently we are definitely in 3rd place as far as churches in America go. :-)

(I found all those stats on Wikipedia, so take them for what that's worth.

I would love to visit Joel Osteen's church sometime, but since I was last in Houston back around 1983ish, I doubt I'll be seeing him live anytime soon. I'm so glad you're getting to go! Enjoy!

Totally unrelated note to Kaytabug - I have been having the most difficult time leaving comments on your blog lately. I'm reading, but just can't comment to tell you. Sorry Fianna, I realize this is your "little internet space" but since y'all are best friends I hope you don't mind.

jagular said...

I graduated high school in that building.
Did you know that Joel Osteen doesn't get a salary from the church? He made a lot of money from his book and lives off of that money, so he does everything at the church for free.

Fianna said...

Kaytabug: Yea, but can you throw a free throw before your baptism? HA! I win. And fix your comments, woman. But don't ask me how. Cuz I just got off the phone with my hotel innernet and am apparently really stoopid.

Bev: I live by Wiki. I believe everything it ever says. Because everything on the Internet is truthful. Russian brides CAN be had for $2.

Jag: In my extremely thorough research of reading Wiki for approximately 5-7 minutes, I did not read about that. That is awesome, though! I did read many claims that he is running a cult. I have never been a member of a cult. I hope the robes are cute.

Kaytabug said...

but what the heck is wrong with my comments? I mean whats happening to you ppl when you try to comment??? If I don't know whats going on I cant even begin to diagnose and then repair!

Emma in Canada said...

I saw him on TV. 20/20, Dateline, something like that. He is definitely very good at what he does, unlike the priest at my church who has me refusing to go his masses.

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