September 13, 2007

The Cone of Death!

Well, Houston missed a bullet. A bullet named Humberto who blew into the Gulf in about 2 hours, went from a tropical depression to a hurricane before I could figure out the right way to say UMMMMberto, rolling the tongue and all. And DAMMIT all to heck, it blew right past Houston. I didn’t want to say anything yesterday about how excited I was about this. Well, and the fact that I had only a window of 10 seconds to post since it developed so quickly.

Houston lives for these things. Or at least I do. And so in the spirit of journalistic integrity, let’s just say all of Houston then.

I love the days of preparation. The panic stricken voices of the newscasters. Get your water, stock up on plywood, fill your tank, get a jug of Vodka and a carton of smokes, this one is gonna be a doozy.

But I am also a bit superstitious and am wondering if I should keep typing at all. There is another little swirl out in the Gulf. It would be named Ingrid. Now that is a nice respectable hurricane name. But do I want to put it into the world that I kinda want it to head here. And at least give us a few squalls, a few rain bands?

And a random thought – the saying “Don’t step on a crack, or you’ll break your mother’s back” Did some mother, wearing stiletto heels, sporting a Louis Vuitton handbag, step on a sidewalk crack, break a heel, crash to the ground and break a vertebrae? I bet it is somewhere out on the web, but I am way too lazy to actually do research on this. Integrity, folks. I got lots.

I would rather effuse about the CONE OF DEATH! Come on Ingrid! For me? Just not very strong or damaging, rock me like a hurricane, very gently and softly please. But rain bands! I want rain bands! I want to watch the CONE OF DEATH fluctuate between Brownsville, Honduras, Lake Charles and Corpus every hour on the hour.


So at work yesterday, the partners gather a quick meeting to discuss what to do, oh my Lord, what do we do! PANIC! And I, in my entire professional behavior, contribute quite maturely to the serious discussion about the potential hazards to our beloved staff, by repeatedly saying “THE CONE OF DEATH!” in my best WWF announcer voice.

Yea, these people love me. Or are worried that if they don’t take care of me, I will be found playing in traffic on Beltway 8.

***Disclaimer: Don't get mad, these are the random thoughts that pop into my head. I know about Katrina. I lived in Houston when it occurred. We saw the effects. Just let me type the stupid crap that rolls around in my head, please, without making me consider the politically correct ramifications. I don't really want a hurricane or flooding or 80 mph winds. I just want the PANIC! And CONE OF DEATH projections! And VODKA! ***



lisa's chaos said...

I'm like that too, when we were living in Corpus I was all sad if they moved up or down from us, I wanted to see it. So we drove to see when it ended up closer to Galveston. :) We're crazy like that.

jagular said...

I actually stayed up late to see it. During the last one (Rita), I was stuck at work all weekend during landfall, so I slept in the parking garage with 100mph winds whipping around.
I'm with you on this one. Gotta love the panic. (And the vodka.)

Sauntering Soul said...

It's unlikely we'll get many hurricanes here in Atlanta (although we did have Opal that was still hurricane force winds when it reached us back in 1995 and tore siding off my apartment and ripped out a ton of trees), however, a prediction of 0.5 inches of snow will cause chaos in this city like you cannot imagine. It's hysterical.

Emma in Canada said...

I think we all like to see it, with the hopes of no actual deaths occuring. I missed a hurricane here, it was Canada's second deadliest I think, and felt a little left out when everyone had tons of stories about it and all I could say was "I saw it in the newspaper." Damn my parents of sending me overseas for the summer!

Ms. Porter said...

your book (for the book exchange) is coming...i've been without a computer so i couldn't check the email account with your info! please forgive me?

Frac said...

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