January 22, 2008

Dumbassery At Its Finest

I received a visit from a crackhead last night.

I returned home from the airport at close to 10 P.M. and with my luggage and my poor aching ski-injured body, I parked along the street outside of my house, instead of in the back.

This morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my driver’s side door lock was all jacked up.

Never in the long ownership of this car have I ever feared that it would be broken into or stolen.

This had to be the work of a crackhead. Why would a person in their right mind attempt to steal a 10 year old Toyota Corolla? There wasn’t anything of value in sight unless you count the beige steering wheel cover.

What were they going to do with a Corolla? What kind of resale value does an extremely well-used Corolla have? How fast are they going to be able to joy-ride in a go-cart with nearly 190,000 miles on it.

They also attempted to break into 2 other cars on my block. One of them was an older truck that has the small window in the door that you can tilt open. They busted that, yet were not able to steal the truck. What kind of idiot cannot complete a car theft after they bust a window?

Needless to say, I will be parking in the back of my building from here on out, the cats will surely scare off the crackheads that really suck at grand theft auto.


sophie said...

Ugh! What a pain in the ass!

I remember leaving my car at a bar after having too much to drink. I went back to get it the next morning, hungover and in the rain. My window had been broken and a bag taken out of the back seat. A bag of used paperbacks that I was going to take for trade the next day. Since he or she left them outside the car, I guess he was as happy as I was with the outcome.

Sauntering Soul said...

Oh man Fianna. I'm so sorry. My car was broken into in a parking lot downtown while I was at a Braves game once. It's such an awful feeling. You feel so violated. Like you, I had a fairly crappy car (Geo Tracker) and there was nothing of value in it. The person took all of the quarters and dimes out of my ashtray. They left the nickels and pennies.

Robocop said...

What a douche. I am glad the thief never succeeded. Having a car stolen would be a pain in the butt.

Jagular said...

I really love you for using the word Dumbassery in context.

And have you ever heard of the "criminal mind"? Yeah. Well it's a myth.

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