October 7, 2009

Goodbye, Sugar.

I haven't experienced much loss in my time here on this blue planet. I have been extremely fortunate. I haven't had to deal with many heart breaks, sadness, or many deaths. So maybe this is why when they happen they hit me so hard. But then again, when I am reeling like I am from this death, maybe it is just this death. Maybe I would handle a different one, well differently.

One of my best friend's just lost her mom. She is one of a few moms in my life that I am fortunate enough to refer to as another mom to me.

I have been so heartbroken since it happened. I have cried regularly. For my friend, for her family, for me.

Of course, you never recognize how important someone is to you until they are gone. This person has been a near constant in my life for 17 years. She has answered the phone, the door, asked how I have been, provided meals, hugs, been a constant background effect to my friendship with her daughter. I have appreciated her, told her I loved her, hugged her, cared for her during sickness, her daughter's severe injury years ago, her husband's death just over a year ago.

Yet, she was always in the background. As my mother is to me. A constant in life. Yet in the background. I am getting married in mere days now. She stated that she would make my dress, yet I never took her up on it. Now, I long for that opportunity. She wanted me to wear a certain necklace of hers during my wedding, I pray we can find it before we leave for the wedding.

I miss her so acutely, yet she wasn't a part of my day to day, or even week to week.

The lack of her in life is shocking, yet before I went weeks without hearing her voice.

Once again, the importance of appreciating those you love while you can is brought to the forefront. Once again, too late.

I miss you, C.


Sauntering Soul said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you my dear.

sophie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Good thoughts to everyone around.

Pamela said...

oh.. .so sorry.

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