September 25, 2009

Why Do Birds Sing When I Am Filling My Wine Glass?

The last couple weeks have been a doozy. I was sick for a good little spell, and my work is absolutely insane.

You know, I really wish that I wasn't worried about being dooced, because there is definitely some good blog fodder in my 8-5 plus a couple hours. Just let me go on the record with 2 points about working with attorneys: 1. Don't work for a female attorney (sorry, sexist as it may be, it is just a bad idea. I have never met a female attorney that I would want to work for. But then again, my boss today said, “You know what?” and my response was, “Chickenbutt?” So maybe I am a bit lax in how I feel a boss should act.) And 2. Fridays in legal are teh Suck. They Suck Chickenbutt. Give me a month of Fridays. Three out of those Fridays are going to include one or more of the following 1. me eating breakfast (cold oatmeal made at 9 AM), at 2 PM; 2. a secretary in tears by 10 AM; or 3. discovering that we missed a super important malpractice worthy deadline.

Today? All three blessed my sweet office manager desk. On top of a no-showing temp working for a female attorney who I then covered for the remainder of the day. Holy crap, ya'll. You wonder why I am drunk blogging right now.

AND ANYHOO (you know, that whole Dooce-able thing)!!! I am dropping lbs. Word to your mom. Today I wore a pair of pants that I bought just comfortable in size several months back. They weren't tight, not loose, just about right. I now need suspenders y'all. I was sporting a whale tail throughout the day without realizing it because my pants were hanging so low. I wish I could find a cool pair of chick suspenders because I would wear them just to show off how these pants so totally Do Not Fit me.

So tonight once I finally get out of my office way late, due to my ridiculous day and my ridiculous week, I went out to dinner all by my lonesome to try and decompress and become a better person that didn't want to shrink my man's head or shoot my dumbass dogs Right In Their Face. I stuffed myself silly with Shrimp Scampi. Holy cow, it was incredible. Since all I had ate up until that point today was about 300 calories, I could afford the calories (oh yes, I am counting calories like a big dog these days!) and oh how I enjoyed them.

So. Then I came home. Stuffed ridiculously full. My PJ's are screaming for me. I pull a tee that I, for disgustingly bloody reasons following my wisdom teeth removal, remember quite vividly despite heavy amounts of pain meds, fit me 3 years ago, but Has Not Fit since, the shirt fits tonight. The shirt fits y'all. And I nearly cried.

To summarize: Work Sucks. Female Attorneys Suck. Fridays in Legal Suck. Shrimp Scampi Freaking Rocks. Working Your Ass Off for 4 Months and Finally Seeing Results – Totally tear worthy.

I am so rocking the Kasbah. I hope your weekend is starting off ever so righteously as well.

Excuse me, I need to refill my glass.


Sauntering Soul said...

Oh honey, you are so right about female attorneys. They can be downright scary. I now work for 3 male attorneys and could not be happier about it.

Fridays at my firm are normally kind of quiet. Maybe you can move to Atlanta and work here?

Yippee for the weight loss! Congrats!!!!

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