June 8, 2008

Things Learned This Weekend

1. Do not ever ever ever let a dentist from West Texas work on you. Ever.

2. If you are stupid enough to let a dentist from West Texas work on you, ensure you are deft enough to catch your crown when it dislodges for the 4th time since placement without swallowing it.

3. Don’t go to Wal-Mart. Ever. Ever. If you are stupid enough to go to Wal-Mart, you are going to see things that will forever be stuck in your mind. A smell that will forever be remembered, an experience you are probably going to cry over when your crown falls out Again and #4 happens.

4. If you know there is a problem with a certain car part before you buy a car, don’t cry when it happens for reals after you signed the paperwork.

5. I need big girl panties.

6. Best Buy and probably all sorts of other evil empirical giant stores create false shortages of the Wii’s. Talk to the stupid sales guy who will tell you all the secrets.

7. I have a big problem with false shortages. My Wii hunt is on hold because I am mad.

8. Reading a book, while drinking a Shiner at 3 in the afternoon is the only way to feel better after 2, 3, 4 occur in quick succession.

9. Smoothies help. Smoothies with vodka instead of milk help even more.

10. I hate bad teeth, doctors, dentists, Wal-Mart, traffic, not being sold something because Nintendo tells an evil empirical giant store to not sell it so its popularity will increase, bad brakes, etc., etc. and so on and so forth.

Tell me what you learned this weekend. Or what you hate. Or what I should hate.

4 comments:

sophie said...

I hate Walmart so much it might make me break another tooth--then I could combine hatreds. THe people there make me want to bleach my eyes and clean my brain with brillo. I avoid it at all costs, but every once in a while I give in.

Ihate my teeth, but I love my dentist. She is down the Pearland way, but maybe she can recommend someone nearer to you.

I guess I need more info on the big girl panties literal or physical? I have some of each, but a drawer full of VS waiting for the magical fairy to reduce my ass size--my way is going far too slowly.

Have you tried any of the smaller stores for the Wii?

I also know that reading is good for the soul. I'm working on perfecting the Mojito--those things make life so much better!

Sauntering Soul said...

I learned that I need to figure out how to keep my mouth shut about personal things because people will use that shit against you in a heartbeat.

I learned that house hunting with my mom is kind of a drag because she keeps falling in love with houses that are waaaaay too far from her work and then she drives me crazy with the whining.

I learned my dad just can't be bothered to try very hard to be any sort of part of his kids' lives and that he really hurt my younger brother's feelings. I want to curse him out but I can't bring myself to do so. It really doesn't make me feel thrilled about spending a single minute of Father's Day with him this coming weekend.

Kaytabug said...

The store you hate so much near me had a system in stock a week ago. Want me to check if they still have one? If they do want me to get it and ship it to you?

I am so sorry you had such a shitty weekend!

I learned to remember the reason why we do not see movies as a family...$33 for 5 just for admission.

I learned that sometimes it pays to try new recipes...every-once-in-a-while everyone likes it!

I learned that no matter how much I hate it, they still grow up too damn fast!

Kaytabug said...

I meant to tell you I am over halfway, and have been for over a year,through The Persian Pickle Club. I have really enjoyed it so far!! I'll have to check out the one you linked!

 
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