October 16, 2007

Sorry to Group You With Projectile and Poop, Laurie. I Heart You!

Oh, what a weekend! Awesome. awesome weekend.

On Friday, I met Crazy Aunt Purl. She is so amazingly personable and sweet, and cute and Southern! I had never been to a book signing before. It was a weird little thing. From reading her blog for a couple years now, it is like I know her. And everyone else does as well. So for that formal environment, it was a bit odd. I would have been much more comfortable, sitting on a back porch, sipping wine out of a Solo cup. I had some questions, but was too scared to ask anything, because I am a chicken shit. And hate public speaking, even when it is to just ask a question of CAP. So she reads a chapter or two, there is an audience Q&A and then she signs books. I have met celebrities, and have always been a bit non-plussed. When it is just a celebrity, some dude that’s on TV, some chick that makes movies, I don’t really care. Someone that has entertained me, someone that has made me laugh until I cried, and of course cried until I laughed, that is when I break out in hives. And to me, Laurie is a celebrity. She puts her life out there for us to read, she talks about her insecurities, her screw-ups, her losses and let’s us cry with her, laugh with her and just have a grand old time out on this world wide web. Meeting her was a big deal to me. And of course, I was awkward. I was nervous talking. I asked for a hug and had to hurry off because I was getting tears. Damn her and her adorableness! (Make sure and check out the pics, my torso, purse and hair clip are now famous. In a almost, not really sort of way.)

On Saturday, I met up with my sister and her family at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, but more importantly, the Butterfly Habitat. Starbucks and some donut place were kind enough to show up for the early crowd and give free coffee, donuts and kolaches (why you Northerners and Californians and whoever else…. don’t have kolaches, I do not understand and I pity you for it). We then get in line, get up to the ticket booth, we hand over our cash and my 3 year old niece starts coughing and then projectile vomits everywhere. It was a serious Exorcist scene. All over my hands, jeans and cute Old Navy flip flops. I was a tad traumatized. My experienced sister catches a good amount of it in her hands. Eww. After a clean-up, a new gift shop shirt, the kid was fine. And we proceeded to catch butterflies, let the “sleeping” ones “sleep” and just enjoy the high-pitched shrill of excited children.

They were not in town to see me though and we separated a few hours later. We met up for lunch on Sunday. It was a beautiful day in Houston for October. It had cooled off a bit and the storm clouds stayed at bay until I completed my fun. I wandered about the restaurant carrying my itty bitty niece, entertaining her and myself with a bit of baby talk. I comment to her dad that she is getting a bit squishy down South and he may want to handle that whole situation. He comments that it might be a messy one but being the sweet dad he is, he said he would get on it…. and upon closer inspection, yep she was leaky. Leaky on me.

And so after telling this to an old friend with a 6 month old, she relays a nice story to me. How moms just do things instinctively, not how I just stood there in shock and awe for both projectile vomiting issue #1 and leaky poopy-ness #2. She relayed how once she caught her daughter’s poop in her hand. What led to that, I didn’t ask, I was throwing up a bit, but just in my mouth, not projectively.


Robocop said...

I have heard about projectile vomiting from Debs who used to do the Daycare thing.

Sauntering Soul said...

I so wish Laurie was coming to Atlanta on her book tour. Nashville is the closest she'll get and that's about 4 - 5 hours away. I would also be too nervous to ask her a question. I had just looked at her flickr photos before I came over here to read your blog. Which ones are you in? I'll look at them again!

As for kolaches, I've never heard of them. We have something that looks really similar around Atlanta but they just call them danishes. Probably not the same thing, but they look really similar.

Projectile vomiting? I am grateful I haven't really seen any of that since my brothers and I were kids. These days it's just cat puke I have to deal with.

I also, luckily, have never been "leaked" on. Not poop anyway.

Kaytabug said...

I have no sympathy for you my dear! But if I think back to when I had no kids and one of my friends kids puked on me I was a lil grossed out... My 3 have puked on me too many times to count and I LOL at Sis catching most in her hands!! I have done that too!
Middle guy shit all over me. Hubs thought it was so funny he wouldn't help me until he had taken a photo...If I had stood up I would have had poo on the carpet...
I can't believe you didn't tell me you were going to meet CAP or that you had!! Why you holding out on me???

sophie said...

I remember my sister telling me about catching vomit of her friend's kid to protect some important book. Yeah, stories like that don't make me ache about my not having kids decision.

I had a great weekend, too! Wasn't the weather beautiful! Glad you were out to enjoy it.

jagular said...

My daughter is a "running puker".
As soon as it hits her throat, she takes off like a bolt. The idea is to puke on the floor all the way up to, but not including in, the nearest toilet. If she times it right, she can reach the toilet just as she runs out of ammo, and then she stands there looking at the toilet until she decides to spit in it just for good measure.

I don't see the pics. Are you sure there are pics?

Fianna said...

Here is the photo to which I refer...

Is this outing myself online? LOL.

But check out all the other pics. We had a ball!

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