October 10, 2007

Pretty Miserable Sister

I am so very, very tired this week. But see, I have no one to tell how tired I am because a certain very important someone has worked triple digit hours in the past week. Triple! How do you even work triple digit hours in 6 days? Who am I to complain of how I worked from 8-7 in a cozy little office with air conditioning, carpet and a cushy chair. My working conditions and hours prohibit any bitching to him this week. Dammit dammit dammit. Cuz mama is tired.

And has thought of many new ways to kill the cutest weetle kitten. She needs Benadryl, Valium. I am quite sure the cat has ADD, a major sleeping problem and a slight empathy problem. I don’t think it matters how early I go to sleep anymore, she is going to destroy several hours of this sleeping business.

And the dreams of someone breaking into my room, they could stop. Thanks!

I have a really hard time with motel places. The ones where the rooms open to the outside. I get really freaked out that some dude in a red hoodie is breaking in and attacks me. He has followed me across many states for many years. Well, he apparently has followed me to Houston and has upgraded his hotel stays.

And the night before last, both cats decided to join in on the fun activity of Wake Mama Before Sunrise. To the right of me, the usual culprit Chloe was licking my face, to the left, Yoda joined in by nuzzling at my neck. Hi, kitties, love the attention and all, but it is 4:00 A.M. When the clock says 7:00 and I have overslept, then and only then is this acceptable behavior. Please, pretty please with a mackerel on top?

How will I ever survive a child? I was trying to rationalize with a damned cat at 4:00 this morning. “Look, little kitty cat, I will give you treats, I will make a special Fiesta run and get you Canned Cat Food, if you will just let me sleep until 6:30 without any further interruption.” “No, really, please.” “Ok, well, how about a new toy? You like mice? Would you like a brand new mouse?” And by 4:45, I was offering the damned kitten a pony.

I can just see it now, my 6 month old baby will have a Maserati.

Would someone please babysit a very friendly early rising kitten please? Pretty please with a Maserati on top?


Kaytabug said...

If I was closer I'd help you out!
Just remember it's just a phase! She'll grow out of it!

Jagular said...

Actually, I could babysit it for you. Wouldn't be any problem at all. You'd be taking it back though, right? We wouldn't be stuck with it forever right?

Fianna said...

Lady K: Her growth may be stunted soon enough.

Jag: (Silence) (Nothing but silence.)

Sauntering Soul said...

Luckily Bailey pretty much curls up next to me and sleeps most of the night. There is an occasional "wham" of the blinds when she gets behind them to look out the window if she hears something out there, but other than that she's pretty lazy. Just like her mama.

So basically what I'm saying is that I have very little interest in babysitting your overly active cats. Apparently Jagular is much nicer and more helpful than I happen to be feeling today. I am selfish. Don't hate.

But you reminded me of a crazy dream I had last week. I think you just gave me something to post about tonight.

Fianna said...

Bev: I so understand and would have said the same!!

Update to all that actually care what my stupid cats do on a day to day basis, I promise to stop talking about them once I kill them: I went to sleep at 9 PM last night. Crazy! And slept quite well with minimal interruptions. I thanked the kitten this morning. And then remembered how she had peed outside the litter box last night. And asked her to please start waking me up at 5 AM every day on the dot instead of this new disturbing behavior.

p.s. to PETA and Pam Anderson: Just joking. And Pam, you look foolish. Don't be the new Britney.

p.p.s to PETA and Pam Anderson: Just joking about the p.s. The murder part, not the foolish part.

sophie said...

My cat has a very vile habit of YOWLING just after we go to bed and just before we wake up in the morning. Not her usual meow, this horrid yowl that I associate with a cat in heat. At least your kitten will grow up to be a lazy cat, hopefully?

craziequeen said...

I totally sympathise - my kittens have all wanted to play at 3/4am....it's because 4am is 'hunting time' in their subconscious.

Charlie is 2 1/2 now and has finally got the idea that dark time is sleep time. But now 18yr old Pandora is so contrary that, after years of being good at letting mum and dad sleep, she is now bed walking at 3am again.....

Michele sent me to meet a fellow sufferer......
But we love them to bits anyway.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ah well, kittens like to dominate and be in charge!

Michele sent me.

craziequeen said...

Michele sent me back...so I went to see what all the fuss is about..

oooh - she da cootest ickle pumpkin puddytat!!


Here's to stopping the midnight games soon.....


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