October 29, 2008

Three's Company Had a Very Clean House

I just saw a news snippet about polygamy. I only saw a minute of it, but it appeared to be a threesome in some third-world country stating that their way of life is the only way they knew, that it was normal for a husband to have two wives.

Maybe I am just tired and my fingers a bit dried out from cleaning the shower, but I think it is safe to go on the record in support of multiple wives. Personally, I need to find a wife that can be the bathroom cleaner, the laundry washer, the floor scrubber, the cat handler, the grocery buyer, the dinner preparer, etc., and so forth. I can handle the couch cuddling, companionship, lights going out wifely duties, I just would like to interview a few Stepford Wives to handle the other duties I have.

I understand that from the beginning of time, women handled the household duties while men hunted, came home and sat around the campfire farting. No matter how I consider that women all across the world are doing more than men are at home, it doesn’t make me feel any better or less tired or less resentful that I am scrubbing dishes at 10 at night instead of curled up on the couch.

Years ago, yet in an incident I remember so vividly, I was with my parents handling the cleaning of a relative’s home after the mother had died. My mom and I scrubbed and swept, and dusted and mopped while my dad sat on a bench outside and stared into the sky. I asked my mom how she handled that all these years. She just sighed, and said, “Well, I got used to it.” I remember being mad at my dad initially, and then getting angry with my mom as the words settled in. She allowed it to happen. She allowed him to be lazy and not give his share. I told myself that I wouldn’t allow that, it was going to be equal in my house.

Oh, youth. How naive I was.

Or maybe it’s true, men marry their mothers, women marry their fathers.

Give me a woman who doesn’t feel that she does more around the house, with the management of finances or chores or the children. I want to meet her man. And kidnap him.

I don’t want to come across as too much of a Complainy McComplainer Pants. Not Craig is amazing. He is such a great man and I love him to pieces. He is wonderful in a million different ways. I would rather have him be all that he is, than merely a great housekeeper.

Thing is, I just wish that I wasn’t in charge of everything at home. I wish when I got home one night, the house would be clean, the laundry started, dinner on the table, the cats fed. I wish my weekends were spent carefree, not wondering where I was going to squeeze in a stop at the grocery store or wondering just how many days I can wear those pants before they start reeking.

It is one of those great axioms of life. To make a man feel loved, give him sex. To make a woman feel loved, do the dishes.

How about you? How are the household chores divided up? Do you feel that you do more than a fair share? Does your hubby help out willingly or just because you have threatened castration? How do you handle the anger/frustration about this topic? How often does it come up as an argument point?

Just tell me I am not alone here.


Sauntering Soul said...

I live alone so I can't really comment on how chores are divided since they aren't really divided at all. However, when Hot Brazilian is at my house he's actually awesome about cleaning up after himself. He refuses to even put stuff in the dishwasher - he goes ahead and handwashes every dish, utensil, etc. I have no idea how it's going to be when he gets back to the States and things move on to a different phase with us.

When I was with my ex, I pretty much did everything myself. We lived in an apartment and he drove a pick-up truck so he would drive the trash to the dumpster, but that was about it. Every once in a blue moon he'd get a wild hair up his butt and do some cleaning but 95% of the time I did it all.

Kaycie said...

Well . . .

I pay the bills, do the laundry, clean the house, take care of the yard, transport the children to and from school and their activities and do all the shopping, including hubby's clothes. However, I don't work outside the home.

Hubby earns the money and is the enforcer with our children. He will help out around the house if I need him to, but honestly, I hate to ask. Mainly he vacuums. He's good at running the vacuum.

When I worked, long ago, he did more. He took care of the yard then, helped with transporting the kids, took out the garbage and pitched in with the laundry -- if I got buried.

He's a good man. But make no mistake, he's spoiled. I don't think he even knows how to make a sandwich.

Karmyn R said...

My MIL told me once "All men were born to be served." Not that we let them, but they came out expecting it. I have to agree. (even though my children share chores equally, my son drags his feet and acts like I've asked him the impossible every time).

When I worked outside the home, my husband and I divided up the chores more equally. Now that I am a SAHM - I definitely have the entire load on my shoulders. He does the dishes for me occasionally - but pretty much nothing else unless I'm screaming for help.

Karmyn R said...

Oh - I received the cool necklace. THANKS! I plan on posting about it soon.

Robocop said...

I could imagine three wives nagging at me at the same time. I could also imagine suicide.**LOL**

simplypink said...

My thoughts? I could have written this post, I'm sailing right along in your boat with you. Mr. isn't a lazy bum by any means, but there are obvious things he could do that just aren't that obvious to him. We both have a job outside the home, but the jobs inside the home that are mine, seem to outweigh his.

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