July 16, 2008

Rhetorical Thought Patterns

I need to start carrying a voice recorder with me. I have some amazingly funny thoughts. Yet I never get them written down and when I remember, hey, you had some unbelievable hilarious stuff to tell the internets, it never fails, my memory falls short.

Yesterday, I had numerous instances like that. There were some very funny things to tell ya’ll about my trip to the downtown grocery store. The one where you park beneath it and you ride an elevator to get to it.

And the bus barn? Or bus stop? Oh wait, terminal. Greyhound has a huge terminal (that is right, right?) in downtown Houston. This area is not for the suburbanite, non-city dweller, not used to seeing people peeing into the gutter. The area frightens me sometimes, me, the one with a crack house on the corner of her street (it is being remodeled now, but I reminisce to the days of yore), the one who recognizes all the panhandlers around her neighborhood, and says hello to them. Transient folks circle the place, I have no idea if they are planning on hijacking a bus or what, but there is a bus/homeless person problem off downtown.

On the way home, again, lots of funny crap swirling in my brain-o, yet I forgot to write it down. There was the caddy with spoke type rims and protrusions from said rims. It reminded me of cowboy spurs or that stupid movie they are showing previews for, Death Race, I think. It is so bad I don’t want to even bother looking it up to get you a proper title. But, this caddy, if it got too close, or if I wandered out of my lane at all, poof, my tires would explode due to his protruding rim thing. Now it is morning, the time when I typically write my ramblings, and I have no idea what my thoughts were. Because the recall I just gave you – not funny.

The actual thoughts last night – Funny with a capital F.

I do recall one not so funny thing. Not nearly as funny as the things I was going to tell you.

When I was doing this carousing downtown yesterday, mid-day, which I am not wont to due typically, I realized I have a lot of those tag things on my keychain. The ones you get from stores.

These things.

I either have my priorities straight or I have a serious drinking problem. (Don’t answer that.)

Two from Spec’s.

You don’t have to laugh, it’s okay. I know my other stuff was freaking hilarious.

Now if I could only figure out where I placed those thoughts.


Kaytabug said...

Well I for one think your scatterbrained posts are hilarious. I am totally laughing my hiney off that you have 2 from specs, not that I know what store that is but that you have 2 from any store makes me laugh!
I know what to get you for X-mas!
No not more store tag thingies.

Jenni said...

The description of downtown and your neighborhood cracked me up. Especially, "I reminisce to the days of yore" about the crack house! I do have this problem, too, though. Not the crack house or scary downtown experiences, but not remembering what it was I was going to write about. One of my fave bloggers writes down all these hilarious conversations she has with her kids, and they are amazingly like the ones our family has, but I can never remember everything said well enough to write about it. Yet, I remember that the conversation resulted in side-splitting laughter. The kids have threatened for years to get a recorder to document all the weird random crap that comes out of dh's mouth.

Sauntering Soul said...

Our neighborhoods sound alarmingly similar. I live next door to a half-way house for mental patients, hear gun shots more than once a week, and have had to call the police because of a strange man walking around in my backyard. Ah, in-town city life!

Robocop said...

Interesting thoughts. A funny thing about my neighborhood: Either my neighbors work at the prison,or they used to live there.

sophie said...

If I remembered the brilliant things I thought about, I could stay home and blog. Or not.

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