Girl Schmirl or The Pugilist (Because I Really Wanted to Use That Word Somewhere)

I am not a girlie girl. I am pretty close to the opposite of one. From what I remember, it has always been this way, which given my upbringing, is odd. I grew up with a sister, my best friends were 3 girls, one of which had a sibling – a girl. There were no boys around when I was growing up, until, of course, they were an object of lust.

For some reason, these girls, my 3 best friends, my sister, and my friend’s sister, I would hesitate to call any of us anything other than tomboys.

Sure, we played with dolls, had a list of boys that we thought were cute, with some convoluted system of rating said cuteness (K – do you have these anymore? Because that – total blog fodder), took home ec, sewed, cooked, etc. and so forth.

Even though now, I won’t go anywhere without painted toenails and lipsticked lips, these are probably the only things that make me a girly girl. If there was a club or an organization of girlness, I would be on probation all the time. Or more likely, banned for life.

For example:

I prefer steak and potatoes to … well anything.

I have had one pedicure in my life, and that was only because the wedding party I was in, all got pedicures. Which just as an aside, the bride, just to point out the type of girls I get involved with, announced loudly while we were getting ready that she needed to go to the bathroom. #2. And she went #2 in her wedding dress. I am pretty sure that she is quite proud of this to this very day. She probably farted really loud walking down the aisle and blamed someone else, too. I know there is a video with her belching into the camera extremely loudly. Again, in her wedding dress. I love that girl.

I have never had a professional massage. I despise chocolate. I hate diamonds.

Friday night, I could have watched either While You Were Sleeping or Pulp Fiction. No way in hell that this was even a contest. Pulp Fiction, even though I have seen it 72,821 times. While You Were Sleeping? I don’t believe I have ever seen it. Nor do I have any desire to do so.

I do have a couple girly friends. Ok, one. She lives in another state – (not Kaytabug). This friend was wishing that we lived in the same area the other day. She commented that if we were in the same city, she would like to go have some coffee and then go see Mamma Mia.

I am not a good friend.

Because I could not stop myself from immediately busting out laughing. Um, Mamma Mia? Do you even know who I am? I would rather go see Batman, X-Files, Step-Brothers, Hellboy or even Journey to the Center of the Earth. Honestly, if I had to choose between Death Race and Mamma Mia? The previews for Death Race make me want to vomit and then fling the vomit at the screen, it is so bad. But if I had to choose between that stupid flick and Mamma Mia, I think I would choose Death Race. At least people would die in Death Race.

Most of the time, my girliness or lack thereof, isn’t on my mind, or considered in any sort of fashion, but between the above movie discussion and my day yesterday, I was quite intrigued by my failure as a chick. Intrigued enough to actually sit and write a post which is something that I have really, really sucked at recently. Although if you knew how exciting my life has been recently, you would so totally forgive me.

Yesterday, we went to a Gun Show. And I totally enjoyed it. And then we went to a friend’s house where they have 2 TV’s. I had a choice between hanging out with the wife watching old X-File episodes(which is a hell of a lot better than any other potential chick watching item) and with the guys and the TV with the PPV boxing.

You know what I chose, of course you do, we are cool like that.