Low Talky

This week has kicked my ass. The last 3 weeks have kicked my ass. And before that? We were moving, which kicked my ass.

I am an introvert. Too much activity freaks me out. Too much talky-talky. Too many people. Not enough Ahhhh-oooommmm. Alone time. Chill and stare at the wall time.

I am at That Point. Where I am just beat down. I just want to wrap myself in my little cocoon and not talk to anyone for awhile. I want to spend the weekend in my PJ’s, drinking coffee. Doing nada. Spend time with the only human I really want to spend time with right now. And not talk. And not listen. And just be quiet.

To get Me back. To become level again.

However, let’s see…my boss wants me to go to work today. I am not going because I stayed there until 9:30 last night in order to avoid working today. I expect his call any minute asking where I am. I will probably not answer.

I then need to go to a friend’s kid’s first birthday party. I was so wishing this was tomorrow. Just so I could regain some balance and become a nicer person. However, I will go and smile and enjoy meeting the kid for the first time. It is waaaayyy over due.

And then. I plan on planting some herbs. Perhaps something flowery, and maybe a small tomato plant. Are there any small tomato plants?

I used to hate tomatoes. I was very much into tomato by-products. Tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, ketchup. Any processed tomato was acceptable. But I HATED fresh tomatoes. This has been going on since childhood. I did not eat tomatoes. One day, however, I decided to break out of the ordinary, quit doing the same thing, and ate a slice of fresh tomato that I was about to put on a pizza and bake it into oblivion in order to make it acceptable. And guess what. It was acceptable. In fact, it was downright tasty.

I did this a year ago with dairy. I decided maybe this self-imposed lactose ban wasn’t me. Maybe I really wasn’t lactose intolerant. Maybe my genes became strong and kicked that stupid deficient gene’s ass. I started eating dairy. Oh sweet baby Jesus. Cheese. Milk. Ice Cream. The Heavens opened up, it was amazing. However, I was wrong. That stupid lactose deficient gene is still partying it up with that vision impaired gene. They are winning. I am still blind and still lactose intolerant.

Point is though, I tried. I tried something that I had previously written off. I changed my thoughts and my actions to attempt something new. I went against what I felt I should do, what I had been doing for years, what was the most comfortable route.

So today, when all I really want to do is watch E! all day and the Celebrity Rehab reunion. I am instead going to get off my lazy butt, go buy some noisy brightly colored toy and spend time with humans. Humans I don’t see very often. A really small human that I can’t wait to meet. And just maybe, that is what I need more than anything I think I need.

I am still not going to work though.