February 11, 2008

House Guests

(Men - proceed at your own risk.)

In my Saturday post, I wrote, “Where is my crown?”

I meant where is the crown I deserve for being a super cheap-ass furniture finding mo-fo.

The crown that goes on your head because you are the shiz-nit.

Somewhere, in some really evil parallel universe, a gnome read that blog post.

That gnome, apparently had dental issues. I wanted to know where my princess-y crown was. The location of my dental crown was not in question.

There was no reason for that parallel universe gnome to up-seat my crown. Yet he did.

Hours after writing that fateful sentence, enjoying a piece of chewing gum, my crown dethroned itself. That evil gnome ruined the crown’s self-esteem causing it to fling itself out of its secure post.

Today I spent 4 hours at the dentist with my mouth stretched wider than a cheerleader on prom night.

With a wedge of cotton in my mouth to stop some bleeding, I begged for a potty break halfway through the torture.

And really…. It’s Monday. My head is being drilled. Was that anytime for my Aunt to stop by for a visit?


Kaycie said...

Bless your heart. I hope you're feeling better than you were yesterday.

Kaytabug said...

LMAO!! I didn't think she knew your new address. She's just EVIL! Just like dentists! I hope your mouth feels better.

Southern Doll said...

Oh my. "Stretched wider than a cheerleader on prom night." haha!!

Sauntering Soul said...

Oh dear. I am so sorry. But only you could make something so horrible come across so damn funny.

sophie said...

The dentist and the unwelcome Aunt at the same time? Incredibly unfair. I think we should find this gnome and put a stop to him. I get into enough trouble on my own! Feel better soon.

Robocop said...

So, where you a cheerleader?**LOL**

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