For the past century (or 4 days), I have been taking care of my nieces who are 2 and 5. My sister decided to go into labor as soon as her husband was on the drive to Houston with the girls for their regular weekend visit. He met us at the hospital about midnight on Friday night and since then, I have been the girls' primary caregiver.
This is a totally different experience than the other times I have cared for the girls. Beyond the length, just the whole mindset behind it. Because soon, I am gonna have one of them. And of course, while I wasn't present for my sister's actual delivery, she went into labor at 5 pm Friday. She delivered at noon on Sunday. She got kicked out of the hospital twice because delivery wasn't imminent. The only thing that will scare someone who is pregnant for the first time nearly as much as watching an actual delivery, is watching someone who is in labor for 42 hours. And ya know, I thought it got easier with each kid, this is her 3rd, shouldn't they fall out by now?
I haven't slept for days in between hanging out at the hospital, waking up with crying kids, frequent knocks to advise that they were leaving to go to the hospital, because this is IT! When it wasn't, of course. Pooping muddy dogs. And sleeping on my couch with a 5 year old for 3 days.
The kids are great. They really are quite well behaved. Don't throw too many tantrums. Are respectful. Listen well.
But man, they sure are needy. Aunt Fianna, I'm hungry. I have poopies. I thirsty. I bored. I want to watch Dora. I want grapes. I want I want I want.
The need monsters frighten me. They anger me yet that is so not fair.
I have to figure out this business and fast.
I am not sure with one if I will be ready or able to stay home. But with the second kid, I would like to transition to a stay at homer. But can I sanely do it?
My sister, who is quite driven, hardworking and insane like myself, says that she works because it is just better for everyone. Makes mommy happy and keeps the kids busy. She recognizes that she would not do well as a stay at home mom. Can I do it?
I don't know.
I just know that after 4 days, I am dying to get back to work.
And that at 33, my days of sleeping on couches need to end.
December 15, 2009
Gotta Get Ready
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4 comments:
Something to think about, sweetie: when your bundle of joy arrives, there will be no running commentary on wants. While demanding, an infant is pretty easy to figure out. They want to eat, they want to sleep, they want to poo, and they want to be held. Easy peasy. By the time you get to toddlers, you'll be an old pro, girly.
And I don't think I said it when you posted originally, but congratulations. You'll be a fantastic mom.
Most people do not recognize that they would not do well as a SAHM. So your sis is AMAZING for realizing that and admitting it. She is WAY ahead of the game!!
For me personally the need monster didn't show up until about 2 yrs of age. And that monster still makes me angry from time to time. I think that is normal.
Having kids changes you. You get re-wired. Things that used to bug the shit out of you don't and things you didn't give a flying fuck about now you totally do!
It's a strange thing becoming a Mom. We're all different. You may end up never being able to part with your lil one and say screw the job from the start.
But you'll never know what you can do until you try. So, don't be afraid. Just listen to your heart. XOXO
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Looks like you have your hands full. I hope things go well.
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