Invasion of the Body Snatchers is Totally in Order.

Crap! It has been 2 weeks since I last posted! I really mean to update more. Yet, I cannot imagine life moving faster, yet I am just a girl with a man and some dogs and cats. If I had kids, how would I even have time to brush my teeth?

Ya'll. I am on Week 5 of the Couch to 5k program. The last day. Which means 20 minutes of straight running.

Yep.

I have ran it twice so far. The first time was hard. Really really hard. The second time was easier, but still pretty darned tough.

And you know the hard part? Admitting it really isn't so much physical as it is mental. Which is so freaking weird. And AMAZING!!

The first week, the running program was intervals of 60 seconds of jogging. And it was hard. Really beat me down hard. Make me pant and swear and want to cry. Now I can run 5 minutes, 8 minutes and even 10 minutes without dying. I can run 20 minutes taking a few short 30 second breaks. If I could get my mind right, my ass would be full on moving for 20 full minutes.

That is C.R.A.Z.Y.

I cannot praise this program enough. I cannot believe I am about to type this next sentence. I said it last night and got really really confused.

I like running.

Blasphemy. Ya'll. I do not like running. I am not a runner. I hate running. And have since I was a wee child. Yet, I am leaving that sentence all alone, because.... I think it is a true statement.

I haven't lost but 2 pounds since we started this program, what 8 weeks ago? I can't say there is noticeable change in the way my pants fit, but I can tell my body is firming up, I feel much stronger, more durable. Um, what kind of descriptive word is durable for my body?

I know my body will begin shedding weight soon enough. I am working hard. I am running my tail off. I am running until my face is scary red. Until my clothes are soaked through. I wake up most mornings and hobble out of bed, sore, muscles aching.

Yet there is obvious improvement.

I have never in my life. All my 32 11/12 years have ran as far as I am now running.

I am reading books on running. I am reading blogs on running. I am reading websites on running.

Who the hell have I become?

And when will I fit into a size 8 again?

Running won't kill you, you'll pass out first!

Running is hard, I've never enjoyed it. Back in middle school, we had to run around a park which was a square city block. Kaytabug may remember more, but I think we had to do 4 laps around it, or what equaled a mile. We had to complete the run within 12 minutes. I believe we did this once a week. Oh holy hell what torture that day was. I remember dreading it so badly. Even as a mere child, no more than 12 years of age, I could barely run that 12 minute mile.

I have been gaining weight for awhile. When I started this here blog in April 2007, I was over my desired weight by at least 15 pounds. I have added close to another 15 to that since. With a wedding some time in my future, with a closet full of clothes that don’t fit and the refusal to buy the next size up, I knew that I needed to do something. Motivation for that something? Meh.

Somehow, somewhere on my interneting, I came across Couch to 5k. An interval training program for running. Which takes you from the couch, being a fat lazy slug, to running a complete 5k. Without stopping to die. At all. Not even a small quick death.

Do not ask what I was thinking.

Truly, the program itself is pretty darned cool. The podcasts I am using play music and Robert Ullrey comes on to tell you when to run or walk. You run every other day, I have been doing Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. After the 3 runs, you move up to the next podcast. A bit tougher each week to get you ready to run a complete 5k without stopping once. Just to die. I just want to stop a few times to die. But it is not allowed.

It is getting tougher each week, although srsly! It has been tough the entire time. Now though, the runs are getting longer. And I am well into the program. Way too far in to quit because my mind does not allow me to quit. Anything. So in order to power through, I have taken up reading some running websites, some blogs, etc. Every website discusses running being an amazing mental endeavor. One quote being that running is 90% mental and the rest is all in your head. Har har har.

But come on, seriously, could I get some assistance? I need some help. How do you get yourself through an exhausting, painful run that you hate with the hatred of a 1,000 hate-filled haters?

Physically the run is painful, but mentally it is so much worse. If you think you will fail at something or that you are not capable of doing something, I can promise you that you are right. It is extremely difficult to keep motivated when you don’t think you can do something. Yet, telling yourself to ignore your stupid, fat, whiny body is super difficult as well. My body keeps telling my mind that I can’t do it. And my mind has a strong tendency to believe my body. Which I cannot allow it to do.

One helpful thing I have found through my quest for help with this running BS, is from one of my standard bloggy reads. Tess says it so well, “I've never finished a workout and said to myself, I wish I hadn't done that”.

Which is so true, I've never regretted running, once I'm done with it. Although I may feel like complete crap during the workout, I've always felt good that I finished the workout, proud of myself for showing up and doing it.

I have made myself a promise, what I am calling a Half Year Resolution. Well 2 actually, but only one that matters for this blog post. I will continue running for the remainder of the year. I will finish this running program and keep at it. Keep running throughout the year. Because I said so.

Any motivation techniques would be greatly appreciated. And check out the Couch to 5K. I really do like the program. When I am not hating it.

P.S. Tess also wrote the bestest post ever on Jon & Kate's breakup...not really about them, more importantly about flicking. Read it. I am consciously avoiding flicking my dear Not Craig. It is like a PSA for relationships.